Friday, January 4, 2013

How about this heat?

If you're not currently in Australia today you'll probably be blissfully aware that we're all melting like an attack of Holy Water on Paris Hilton.
It's 8000 degrees celciheight (that hot) in the shade today and aside from the added effect that your tires grip to the road better than ever due to the fact they now have more adhesion than superglue, it's a tad on the hot side...

Of course round these parts, two things happen when the sun has a fever: I exercise and people whinge a lot on Facebook. Thankfully they're not related.

The exercise thing is simply ignorance as I stroll out to the exercise shed, grunt 'it's not that bad' to the dog panting in the corner, flex and then proceed to throw heavy things around for a bit until I realise the sudden Tsunami that's filled the shed has erupted from my own pores. Yep, it takes a spa bath proportion of sweat in the unair-conditioned shed to make me realise it might be a little too hot to attempt to catch the swoles.

Of course had I opened up Facebook first before I even threw on the gym shorts, I would have saved myself hours of flexing as every man and his left testicle has logged in and told all and sundry that the sun is on fire.
Imagine you step outside with your fly open one day and the first person you stand next to at the bus stop points out that the beast's cage is open. You thank them, zip right up and board the packed bus...
...only to have every single passenger point at your crotch and tell you that your fly use to be down.
This was Facebook today as everyone continually pointed out it was hot.
I know this, I almost drowned myself performing a Zercher squat.

And with more hot days predicted, there will be no end to the hordes of Captain Obvious weather reports anytime soon.

So to keep my sanity, I feel it's in my best interests to avoid all social media on staggeringly hot days. Oh and bus trips too - my crotch really doesn't need that much attention. Especially if I've been surfing a tsunami in the shed again...


Post a Comment