Sunday, April 21, 2013

All hail the king of roadside finds!

You know those lucky bastards that manage to find the most useful and expensive stuff that's been turfed out and just waiting by the roadside for a new home? Well we met the king of the roadside finds the other day and you can bet that we made him share his wisdom...

Not even a close approximation.

My radio co-hosts grandfather has eyes sharper than diamond tipped surgical steel and seems to have made a career out of spotting what all and sundry have missed. The legend can sniff out a dropped fiver 3 miles out. He's also brilliant at spinning a mighty good tale so he can turn finding something by the side of the road into a story that would rival the best that Indiana Jones scriptwriters could turn out.
This of course works brilliantly for morning radio as our audience were probably gobsmacked by his recalling of events:

Just a small sample of the collection.
- He's found enough spanners in his time to get most mechanics pants dancing. Why people would throw out a decent spanner or two is anyone's guess but their loss is his gain as he's got plenty of mechanics tools in imperial, metric and whatever the hell came before those (latin?)

- He regaled us with the tale of the mighty butchers knife he located in Spencer Street Melbourne back in the day. While driving his truck he managed to spy a wickedly large butchers knife just sitting there in the middle of the road so he stopped, jumped out (confusing the hell out of the traffic constable working nearby at the time), grabbed the weapon and hightailed it record time. He was sure the blood on it was probably beef...

- While driving to Elmore one day, a perfectly good shovel fell out of the back of the works truck in front of him and bounced over a nearby fence. Once again he pulled over and located the dropped shovel, marveling at it's new condition (seriously the way he talked out it, I'm surprised it wasn't actually gold plated). Of course he tried to hand it back but the truck was well out of reach by that time...

- Apparently every tool in his shed has a story. We'd love to hear them all but I've been warned that you'd need to take the week off to cover the first 25%. We'll just assume he found them somewhere because someone decided they didn't need them anymore.

This could come in handy one day!

- And finally he's fond of saying 'Never give up on a good length of rope' (or something similar, this was last week when he told us) because according to the King, you can never have enough of the stuff and you'll never know when you need some. He's found more than enough to build his own galleon we understand.

Wish I was as lucky as the King...


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