Flashback: All I want for xmas is no Mariah CareyI

In today's June Flashback, we revisit my intense hatred of one particular piece of xmas music...

To Mariah Carey's 'All I want for Christmas is you' played in shopping centers the country over during December, Australian's say no...

This is Wayne Carey, no relation. 

...And if they don't, well they bloody well should. Talk about flogging the bottle of glue that was once a dead horse - not a day in December goes by without a shopping center somewhere slipping it onto high rotation to encourage you to speed up your Christmas shopping and get the hell out of Dodge.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not against Christmas music (actually most of it I am, especially if you bash me senseless with it when shopping) but this song in particular seems to be loaded into too many speaker shotguns and fired when I step through the sliding doors. The result is me running to the cd section of the store and hiding ALL the Mariah Carey, to ensure no one cops a dismal musical blast to the temples on December 25.

She's never met me, I've never met her, how the hell does she know that all she wants for Christmas is a slice of Almigo? (Maybe she reads this page? Highly unlikely). Yet that's all I hear when Christmas shopping, more times than I've been warned that Santa Claus is coming to town (don't try to stop him) or that Rudolphs got one hell of a conker.

Where the hell are the Christmas songs from people you wouldn't want anywhere near your Christmas table or tree? Why doesn't 30 Odd Foot of Grunt, Pornosonic or even Slipknot release double cd's of their favorite Christmas ditties? Yes okay, they wouldn't be any good (well maybe) but at least they'd be different. Why the hell is it Ms Carey and the same song EVERY. DAMN. YEAR?

Are you listening Fat Man? NO MORE MARIAH!

Luckily I've discovered a few cover versions that aren't Mariah, but people trying either to pay homage to the song that gives you homicidal urges or to blow Ms Carey right off her Christmas tree.

Unluckily, they include the following: Miley Cyrus, My Chemical Romance and the Cheetah Girls.

Which means no matter who sings it, the song blows like Paris Hilton after dark.

Bah Humbug, another year of Xmas shopping with headphones full bore, playing Dj Shadow to drown out Eminems ex. I have no idea what the hell Mr Shadow wants for Christmas but I'm sure that it's not me and whatever it turns out to be, we won't be inflicted with it every December in major shopping centers the country over..