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Now blogging over at Onemanmanyplans.com.au

It's been real, thanks Blogger! Hey thanks for checking out this page! After 10 years of posting here and over 600 posts, it's time to try something new at over possibly greener pastures. Which means you can now find me and all my random adventuring ways over at One Man Many Plans . 

Who is? The nine up top.

'Who is?' seems to be a popular question asked via Google and I feel it's high time to add my own 3 and a half cents worth to the mixing bowl in my effort to help educate the world, one step/Google search at a time. So here's the top 9 'Who is?' via Google and the results my humble detective skills have coughed up.*

Incredibly incorrect here. I don't have money to do any loans.


*Results may or may not be accurate. Don't quote me.

WHO IS MARSHMELLO?



Who can I be now?

The mysterious DJ and music producer who sports what looks like a hideously uncomfortable helmet shaped like a giant light up Marsh mellow attacked with a thick black texta? Speculation has been rife since he came onto the scene about his true identity but my expensive detectives have told me that without a shadow of a doubt, under the helmet dome is none other than...Robert Van Winkle.

Aka Vanilla Ice!


Surprise!

Yes, tired of stopping and listening (but obviously not collaborating because Marshmello seems to be happy to work with every one!) and real estate, Mr Ice Cool has been sharpening up his producing skills behind the scenes for his massive return and it's paid absolute dividends.

Can we also set the record straight that Marshmello and Top Gear's stunt driver the Stig have never been seen together in the same room? That's food for thought now isn't it?

Possibly also connected to Marshmello


WHO IS THE PRIME MINISTER OF AUSTRALIA?

You mean this week? We change PM's more than we change our smoke alarm batteries in this country so by the time this entry gets posted up, it's horribly likely that I'll be quite a few Prime Ministers behind. Therefore while at the time of writing it is indeed Scott 'Scomo' Morrison (no relation to Jim) but give it a week and I reckon it'll be:



Yes Corey Worthington, future leader of the country. Failing that, possibly a runner up from a season of Australian Idol. Is Natalie Gaucci busy?

WHO IS LAWYER X?

Now according to all the news services, crime reporters and court room fanatics, the title for Lawyer X came about due to a suppression order over the last two years, so we legally couldn't share her name other than using Lawyer X or Informer 3838. However someone has done their homework and shared it with the world, now we can reveal that Lawyer X is actually...

Lawbot 2000 Mk 3!

Yes! Travelling back from the near future where overzealous lawyers have taken over the world by tying it up in endless red tape, Lawbot has been sent back to help balance the prosecution scales by helping defend the defenseless and objecting the objections. If you find yourself in a court with no help of appeal, look to the dark recesses of the room and squint your eyes. With a bit of luck, Lawbot may just come to your rescue!

I am Lawbot. Are your scales unbalanced?


WHO IS GOSSIP GIRL?

A tricky question for sure because the actual Gossip Girl could be quite a few different people...however with some savvy internet detectivery, you could probably find quite a few woman who work as part of Warburn Estate, the makers of the Gossip Wine brand here in Australia. Maybe you could send them a note and let them know that many people on Google are keen to learn their identity for some reason? It's possibly they already know however, as the wine is pretty popular.





WHO IS AMERICA?

Shouldn't this question be, who ARE America? Then again this is Google where grammar gets thrown to the wayside in the hunt for a quick answer.

Anyway to answer your question - America are a half British half American half Martian group of gentlemen (three halves? Yeah they're a big band) who in late 1970 emerged from the dessert on a bunch of nameless horses and then proceeded to tell us about it, sisters with long hair and hanging out with Jessie The Body's personal highway. Someone recorded their ramblings and turned them into songs and radio gave them some attention because it was pretty innovative naming yourself after an entire country back then.

Picture taken in 1970 of America, fresh off their horses.


How far we've come since then, hey Pink?

WHO IS ALEX NATION?



Now this one is a little tricky as the name isn't one that has popped up on my radar recently (or at all actually) and then I thought the question was actually 'Where does Alex Kidd hail from'? (Which is Miracle World of course.) But I did my due diligence and tracked done someone who I thought might have a better clue than I - Ralph the homeless wino. In between rants about the Government and what would happen if Elvis was in charge, Ralph explained that I would find what I was looking for at these exact co-ordinates: 32.9440 N, 85.9539 W

And it turns out that raving loon was right, it's Alex Nation alright!

WHO IS BILLIE EILISH?

Now you may have heard whispers that Billie is a singer songwriter out of America, but in reality it goes a little deeper than that. The original pre 2001 Billie Eilish is actually...

...the name mentioned in Phil Collins's monster hit Don't lose my number!

Strange but true!


It turns out that Billie Eilish owned a fish and chip shop in Ye Olde England way back in the day called Eilish Fish N Chips and Phil would often pop down in between recording hit songs to sample some of Billy's catch of the day. 

'Hey Billy! I want a solid pound of your battered dory, a square of the salty ones and a wedge of the yellow fruit and as usual I want it delivered please' was something Phil would often be heard saying before walking out the door and playing the air drums all the way back to the recording booth. 

What Phil failed to realise was that Eilish never had a home delivery option and his order would never turn up and for a long time Phil thought Billie just didn't remember where he worked (and that someone else eventually ate all his orders.) 

Hence the immortal line 'Billie, don't lose my number.'

Drumming does make you hungry after all. 

WHO IS CONSTANCE HALL?

Depending on where you hail in the world, Constance Hall could be any of the following three: 

a) A Michinoku driver wrestling move performed in an area with wooden floorboard.

So this, on a set of floorboards. 


'Oh my god, he hit him with the Constance Hall! Look at the impact on the wood!' - Michael Cole from WWE.

b) The giant hall where massive meetings are held in Konstanz, Germany.

In here, somewhere.

Or c) Since Constance is technically 'a female given name that derives from Latin and means "constant."

It's than likely a woman who inspired K D Lang's massive song, Constant Craving. Although I'm still trying to work out the hall part. Maybe K D was hungry in a hall somewhere, bumped into Constance on the way to the canteen and thought 'Wow, now I can finish this damn song I've had on my mind for ages!'

That seems legit.

Anyway, it spawned this song:



And finally...

WHO IS BANKSY?

A really annoying way of telling your boyfriend/girlfriend that you're popping down to the bank.

'Snookums, I'm going down to the banksy to get some monies for our wedding okay? Love you snooky bum! Kisses! MWAH!' 

Also an artistic member of Massive Attack whose work somehow spontaneously destroys itself when you try to auction it. You get to pick which one you think it good with the stencils. 

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