Tuesday, December 4, 2012

First a trickle, then a horde..

Lifeless eyes? Check.
Staggered movements? Check.
A mighty horde? Check.

Okay, maybe I have been watching a little too much of AMC's The Walking Dead lately but seriously, I thought I'm stumbled across a horde of biters the other day while trying to find a park...

Turns out a local stage show had just finished at noon nearby and the horde were actually a lot of the local elderly off to bingo or something. Still, you can't blame a guy for getting things slightly incorrect as some of them did have a lust for human flesh in their eyes. Or was it for sherry and a slice of fruitcake? I'm still new to this game.

At first there was just a couple moving through the outside car park aimlessly and then, just like someone had announced the buffet was now open and free, a flood of octogenarians crawled through, many clad in zombie xmas tinsel and zombie hats.
Luckily if they did turn out to be zombies (judging by a few grimaces, I reckon a few weren't far from it) I was more prepared to boost out of there in my Rx7. Unluckily for me though, if you put the words 'Stealth' and 'Almigo's RX7' in the same sentence then there would be blood spilled as my car's as quiet as a Banshee having an orgasm. A fact that didn't escape many who had working hearing aids as I copped quite a few withering looks while wading through the throng.

Your jigger is too loud young man!
Still, I managed to escape unscathed and the ride has a surprising lack of (false) teeth and claw marks in it so I've very thankful. According to The Walking Dead and also Fallout 3, you've got to shoot zombies and ghouls through the head to keep them at bay but I reckon with this bunch of kind old folks who like to look disapprovingly at spring chickens like myself, just winding down the window and bellowing 'BINGO!' would have bought me enough time to get out of there in amongst all the anger, wailing and gnashing of teeth... 


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