Please keep any and all projectile weapons away from Virgil.

I'm playing Arcanum: Of Steamworks and Magic Obscura on my laptop again and I've come to the realization that the most dangerous creature in the game isn't some slobbering beast hell bent on world destruction, it's Virgil - the very first character you ever meet after you survive a blimp crash.

Amazing artwork from Whistly on deviantART. He's still a bastard though.

Wait...Virgil the Panarii monk? The same altruistic monk who spends a lot of time attempting to heal you and less time trying to patch himself up? Surely not you jest Almigo.

Yes, that little sadistic bastard. He's got a hidden mean streak a mile long and he hates dogs for some reason. In my last couple of days of playing, his dark side has really come to light.

- While he normally likes to thwack things with his big wooden staff, as soon as I gave him a scimitar he took to it like a kid to a teddy bear. So much so that he wouldn't use any of the magical weapons I lent to him. Magic sword? No thank you, scimitar. Magic axe? Meh. Scimitar. Magic dagger? VIRGIL WANT SCIMITAR!
Well not until I got angry and took the scimitar away and he reluctantly replaced it with the weakest weapon he had on him. Obviously he thinks he's Drizzt Do'Urden (actually he could be part Drow, that might have explained the mean streak..) Not surprisingly after taking his security blanket away, he momentarily 'forgot' to heal me during the next fight.

- While I thought the scimitar was bad, I made the terrible mistake of getting him to hold some things including a bow and some arrows. Well didn't he get excited about that one! He promptly forgot about his favorite scimitar and unleashing his inner Robin Hood, decided that he was the Prince of Projectiles and bad guys be damned (and shot.)
This would be good if Virgil had even the slightest inkling of what he was shooting at. He has less bow skills than your local fruiterer and unleashes arrow hell vague in the direction where bad guys might be standing. Boy have both the thin air and surrounding walls copped an onslaught.

He can't stand Dog. I have no idea why but on the 'once in a blue moon' occurrence of him actually hitting anything with his bow and arrow, it's usually Dog. Yes, he's great at inflicting injuries on his own team mates with his mad archery skills and that includes me and more often, poor Dog. It's amazing how he couldn't hit a damn giant standing directly in front of him but still manages to snipe poor Dog in the hind quarters from halfway down a dark corridor. Luckily Dog is a fairly happy go lucky pet and hasn't ripped Virgil's head off yet for being treated as a canine pin cushion.

- Actually he doesn't seem to trust many people. But he really has a axe (or scimitar) to grind with poor Dog.

- I have kept the explosives well away from him. I shudder to think what would happen if he was packing a grenade.

- I gave him a poison gas cloud scroll once thinking he being the magical type, would put it to better use than I would. But no, I've gained another lesson in why Virgil should be kept far far away from any conflict: In the dying moments of a bar fight he decided it was a good enough time to unleash the gas. Of course the bad guy was well and truly dead (thanks to Dog, good doggy) and Virgil managed to poison all of team good guy as well as piss off the bartender in the same (gas cloud breath.)

- Stand near anything anywhere that's removable and before you can say 'No you idiot, we don't need that!' Virgil has sauntered over and put it in his pockets. My walking talking and arrow fury healer has a bag full of rags and roots and has no idea what to do with either..

Sigh, I really should've left him back at the blimp crash...

(Maybe I should have read the Arcanum: Of Steamworks and Magic Obscura official strategy guide first? There's probably five chapters dedicated to working with Virgil..)