Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Probably the best break up I've ever had

Welp, something major has happened in this house and I'm becoming a changed man.

I'll probably look like this soon!

I've just stepped off the good ship SS Carbs to dry land and it feels...ah...perfectly normal really.

The deal is my wife is on a health and fitness program at the moment and in order to not annoy a tired, sore and potentially angry better half (depending on how much Cage fitness she's done in a day) I have agreed to eat clean with her.

Which means my nightly ritual to the gods of carbohydrates has stopped and aside from the occasional slice of toast (light Rye) for breakfast, the worst carbs I find myself chowing down on come lunch time is usually some leftover brown rice with a bit of chicken.
While this sounds pretty normal for the average guy agreeing to give up his big bowl of spaghetti bog on occasion, what you don't realize is that carbs and yours truly have been drinking buddies for a very very very long time.
Pasta and I go way back. Spaghetti Bologniase was one of the first things I ever learnt to cook 

(A quick story: Once upon a time I made pasta at home and loved it so much, I ate two big bowls. Shortly after I got invited to a steak house. Incredibly after Pastafest 2000, I went. And ate a tonne of steak. Amazingly my stomach is still talking to me to this day)

If I wasn't having a bowl of pasta (Big fan of carbonara. And Bolognaise. And anything cream based. And anything tomato based. And home made lasagna...), it'd be something with a side serving of pasta. If it wasn't pasta, it'd be a big bowl of white rice. Or one of those pasta packs where you add water, milk, a scoop of butter and off you went. It'd be a rare meal in this house without some side serving (and a big one at that) of my good mate carbo.  
But now that she can't have it, I have also parted ways (not for good, lets make that perfectly clear...) and the biggest surprise I've found so far is that I'm not humping down the pantry door to mung out on some uncooked spaghetti in the middle of the night.

No time to cook all this, just throw it at my mouth!

I am not currently craving carbs.

Which is amazing in itself due to the last time I undertook a diet challenge as part of a radio stunt, I almost burst into tears walking past the local Italian restaurant. Last week I made meatballs for myself and the kids (Donna's meal that night was Kangaroo sausages) and we all know what goes stupidly well with meatballs now don't we kids? VEGGIE BITS IN THE MEATBALLS! (No wait, that's not it!). And there wasn't a single spiral or strand of angel hair in sight. Just meatballs and vegies in a tomato based sauce and they cleaned their plates. I finished my bowl and didn't get the sudden urge to dive headfirst into the leftovers in the pot (if this was spaghetti bolognaise, I'd have finished two oversize bowls by now..)

I took a beef salad to work the other day and one of the blokes I work with almost did a back flip at the fact that my lunch from home wasn't taking up a whole shelf in the staff fridge for once and there wasn't enough glad wrap over it this time to completely cover a small car. It was quite tasty indeed but I wasn't struck down by the thoughts of drowning it in pasta next time. In fact after finishing it I didn't belch 'Greatness! Bring me another!' and smash the bowl against the wall in anticipation.
There is more fresh green stuff in the fridge than ever before. And not a single jar of pasta sauce or tomato puree or cream or even bacon ready to be diced and thrown into the mix. (The minced garlic can stay, I love that stuff.)
It has really been a short, sharp, clean break.

So from the portioned controlled meals and the cage, core, boxing and god knows what else she's doing at the fitness centre workouts my gorgeous wife has lost weight. And in truly no surprise to anyone who eats cleanly whatsoever, I too have managed to shed almost a couple of kilos over the past week too. I'll add in the fact that I am walking for close to an hour daily on my break to get some fresh air but the healthy eating and gob-smackingly amazing resilience to not add pasta to every single meal I ever create is obviously doing me the world of good. I don't miss the carb heavy stuff nearly as half as much as I expected I would.

I am also happy to report that I have not had a single nightmare about wanting to eat carbs.

Now, who's up for a steak sandwich in celebration? (Hold the bread,,)


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