The adventures of Almigo

Oh random press releases, will you ever stop the rock and roll train of amusement anytime soon? Today I've found out that: A 16 year old Helmeted Honey-Eater has defied all odds by living three times longer than the average male and is now the oldest wild bird of this species on record... Fascinating!  A fact so incredible, I almost back-flipped through work's second story window...

Isn't it wonderful when you do a cleanup on your computer and you find the backup from your old lost blog, the one you thought had gone with the last window formatting? In a step back in time, today I reveal how I came to become much richer than you'll ever be.  So I came home the other day, opened up my mail and instantly became more wealthy than the rest of Australia combined. A tall order for some 31 year old radio announcer from Bendigo who's juggling a mortgage, car repayments, an upcoming wedding and a new arrival to the family any day soon but Lady Luck does fart in mysterious ways. I now have enough money to pay off my house, finish saving up for the wedding, buying the Nissan Stagea of my dreams and still have enough spare change to buy an Island and start up my own civilization - where everyone drives an RX7, Ed O Neil is president and Richmond is the only team in my own AFL (Almigo football league) therefore winning the Grand Final every year. A...

It was in a toy store who's location are now lost to the winds of time. There were two kids who were at the age where the coolest thing around were the Ninja Turtles and thoughts of mortgages, repayments, hot women and fast cars wouldn't be thought of for many years to come. In a time way before the internet (1990 evidently), it was the newest, sexiest toy ever - the unknown entity that was black and sleek, almost dangerous looking with more buttons than we knew how to handle. It was the next step in evolution that took what we knew for granted and flushed right down the can and then whizzed on it once again for good measure. A black Lamborghini Contach? Nay! But I'd still like one.  Maybe the Ferrari Testarossa of its time? No. But I had a poster of this on my wall. Also it's red, not black.  So what was it?

Blame it on a lack of sleep after struggling with an on and off again cold, blame it on the traces of cold and flu medication I’m on that gives me very strange dreams and make me forget when I went to bed, blame it on the moon’s alignment – whatever the culprit is, it’s causing me to have some strange thoughts while trying to wake up in my 5am shower. And this morning I pondered the very important question in the hot water: How come I’ve never heard of the Italdesign Scighera car outside of the notoriously awesome Need for Speed 3 on PC? ... I still play this today. Because it's brilliant.

Like buying a 24 year old rotary, investing in shares and trusting that most mobile phones will make it unscathed through two years of abuse, watching this Vin Diesel effort is like doing a Ugandan tax return. Especially when you find out you don’t know any Ugandanese. Or know anything about tax...

You know those lucky bastards that manage to find the most useful and expensive stuff that's been turfed out and just waiting by the roadside for a new home? Well we met the king of the roadside finds the other day and you can bet that we made him share his wisdom... Not even a close approximation.

Every time I buy a big bulk meat pack from my local butcher, there's always a couple of packs of five dollar rissoles included (I'm guessing they're in there because they'd be bloody hard to sell by themselves). And while it's probably not a closely guarded secret amongst the butcher fraternity, I reckon I've worked out the process of how these banes of my meat pack are created...

Today I walked into a local bank branch, filled out a deposit slip and actually spoke to someone behind the counter. It was like this with much less arse. The last time I did this the world had yet to hear someone was sorry for party rocking and Gangnam Style was more likely an obscure porn genre than some overdone dance move..