The adventures of Almigo

So I was just surfing through Facebook marketplace this morning on the hunt for some Xbox One bargains (mine arrives very soon) and I came across an ad for a pair of lounges that really stands out...in a truly confusing way. Not this couch, I just put this up here in case you forgot what one looks like..

Ello there you 'orrible lot. Allow me to introduce myself - my name is Gentleman Jack - adventurer, pugilist and honest to god man of all seasons. I'm here to answer your terrible questions and provide some life changing advice that will hopefully lodge a rod back into your spine and make you stand tall for the empire. God bless it and the Queen if she's reading. Anyway, onwards with your ill thought out queries... Bully for me, dash and whiskers!

Okay so it wasn't millions I was making. Or thousands. Or even hundreds. Sigh, let's be honest here, with YouTube I'm lucky to pull in anything more than a couple of bucks from my car video related shenanigans. But now come Feb 20 that tiny trickle will come to a complete stop on account of not having 1000 subscribers (I have 37 at last count) or 4000 hours of watched material over the last year (I got close to about 25% of that...) Ffs Youtube, could you please stop moving the goalposts even further away every time I turn to craft a video in order to score a buck or two?