Monday, April 29, 2013

So a random press release came in...

Oh random press releases, will you ever stop the rock and roll train of amusement anytime soon?
Today I've found out that: A 16 year old Helmeted Honey-Eater has defied all odds by living three times longer than the average male and is now the oldest wild bird of this species on record...

Fascinating!
 A fact so incredible, I almost back-flipped through work's second story window...




Which of course is amazing news for ornithologists and fans of the Helmeted Honeyeater (and undoubtedly the helmeted one themselves) but not so exciting for a radio announcer with an interest in cars, beer, video games and random shenanigans.

Since I couldn't find any relevant way of including that in a radio show about crazy adventures and top 40 music about shuffling, I found my own line of amusement when I thought that the poor unfortunate birds name could actually be used for other purposes.

Like a porn star. Wearing a helmet all the time.

Hello ladies!
I think I've just discovered porn star name gold!

In a world of Bob Terminators, Randy Spears and Ron Jeremy's, it's about high time that a male performer in porn had a so over the top name, you couldn't help but grin when you saw he was billed in the latest skin flick.

The Helmeted Honeyeater is that man.
Ladies beware, the Helmeted Honeyeater is here to fix your pool bike!

I have the right tool for the job!
 You'll never look at endangered birds the same way again!

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