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Now blogging over at Onemanmanyplans.com.au

It's been real, thanks Blogger! Hey thanks for checking out this page! After 10 years of posting here and over 600 posts, it's time to try something new at over possibly greener pastures. Which means you can now find me and all my random adventuring ways over at One Man Many Plans . 

My billion dollar idea: Drone cleaning service

No no, not a cleaning service for your drones (ie they fall into the mud as you try to spy on your naked neighbors), nay a house cleaning service...involving a team of drones.

Clean team one.


Ingenious no? Read on!

Now this earth shattering idea did come to me about an hour ago, a day after I booked a steam clean and flea treatment for the carpets on my previous rental. (I'd like all of my bond back this time, I really would.)

What if I could hire one person and a team of drones to do all the dirty work?

PICTURE THIS: 

One operator in a van parked outside your place, eating donuts and reading magazines while a team of drones take it in turns to clean your place inside out. And the only reason they're there is to make sure the drones behave themselves/don't set the place on fire/change power packs when need be.

They rock up, and make sure they're at the right place before leaving the door open and a team of drones get to work and away we go.

DRONE 1 - 'CAPTAIN SPOT' flies in and using some fancy wacky laser thing works out what's what in terms of walls, carpet, tiles and sex swing and which of the heavy duty drones will be needed for maximum clean. It then relays this back to the team and sets the order of what happens next, texts the client the price and waits for a reply. Once it gets the go ahead the work can commence.



DRONE 2 - 'CARPET BOMBER' (If needed) The first of the heavy artillery when it comes to those deep deep stains the client pretends not to know anything about (or looks away when mentioned). Red wine, mushed in dog or cat turds, other stuff best not written about...Carpet Bomber flies in and douses the offending stain with a heavy duty cleaner that really penetrates down to the carpet strands over the space of ten minutes and loosens things things up for the next cleaner...



DRONE 3 - 'HOSE FEGERRA' The Bigger Brother of Carpet Bomber, it races in and douses every inch of available carpet with shampoo. No worries about anyone stepping into this ocean of shampoo bubbles either as we're tackling this part by air again! (Seriously, how good are drones for something like this?) While Hose is doing that, Spidedrone is doing it's thing....


DRONE 4 - SPIDERDRONE (co worker of HOSE FEGERRA). While Hose hits the floors, Spiderdrone attacks the walls from the very top, washing it down with a biodegradable shampoo that provides even coverage of all wall services as it flows down and is so clever, it actually flows around and under the switches and switch plates rather than going over them. This blends in nicely with the shampoo on the floor ala Hose which leads to:


DRONE 5 - 'DR SCRUBS' and DRONE 6 'SQUEEGEE'. Dr Scrubs has a set of rotating brushes and flies parallel to each wall scrubbing away to buff out those strange smears all over your once white wall. Directly behind him Squeegee, armed with (yes you guessed correctly) a Squeegee makes sure that there's no liquid cleaning agent or dirty water left behind.

Now that the walls are sparkling, time to finish the carpets!



DRONE 7, 8 and 9 - SUCKER DJ 1, 2 AND 3


This trio buzz in with their suction hose attachments and tanks on their backs and hoover up as much carpet shampoo/unearthed dirt mix as their tanks can carry before they fly back out to the van, dump it into a waste tank and then go back for more. Mmm tasty! Once that's done and the carpet almost looks new, it's time to call in the final part of the carpet rejuvenation team...


DRONE 10 - 'BARRY WHITE.' No it doesn't sing the carpets to ridiculous levels of cleanliness, but it does get things very very steamy. A carpet so clean you wouldn't want to step on it nor pollute it with your cheap second hand furniture. (Come to think of it, playing some smooth Barry White would be pretty cool while it got down to business..)
With that done we call in the last drone...




DRONE 11 - 'THE EXTERMINATOR!' Look it sounds ominous it really does but in reality all it does is fly in, shoot a little pest control anti flea/wasp/spider/radscorpion powder in those hard to reach areas where creepy crawlers er...crawl. And breed. And crap. A lot.
(Landlords love it when you provide them with a receipt that says 'cleaned AND flea treated!)



Look I've possibly missed a few things in my list of drone cleaning duties but all ideas have to start somewhere don't they?

What do you think - genius level idea or not? Comment below!

(And if you steal my idea the least you could do is throw me a yearly drone clean for free okay? Cheers!)

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