Monday, July 9, 2012

Please stop pointing out that I'm going to die

Here's how my days have been rolling along recently:

5am get up
6am - 10am Talk crap on radio
10am-2pm Fill out all the paperwork and complaint forms
2pm onwards Go home, sit down and be innundated with ads about funeral insurance.

Can I get it on finance?
Okay, I know I'm going to die someday...but do you really have to point it out to me constantly?

Now I'm not that great with audience demographics, but surely those people who watch mid afternoon TV are not all 5 minutes away from carking it. Yet every break in Judge Judy either features an ad for income protection insurance (here's a tip, if you're stuck at home watching day time TV then you probably don't have an income worth protecting) or funeral insurance or both.

At first it was comical - an old chap pointing out why it's a good idea to have everything taken care of so your bastard children don't dump you in a carboard box on the nature strip when you snuff it.
But after a while it really does grind on your gears.

The guy who's riding my goat so much it's now got a spot in the Melbourne Cup is this bloke: Clive Robertson.

You're going to die. Ho ho.
Now it's not his fault that these ads are more over booked than decent Elvis impersonators in Las Vegas but he's the face of the campaign currently and as soon as I hear him, I grab the remote and flick the channel instantly (this saves me from throwing said remote at the TV) because I'm sick to death (get it? Haw haw) of these ads. Morbid, no longer funny and a constant interuption of me pointing out how redneck half of Judy's courtroom really is. They're about as welcome as the bloke talking about his penis (it was a commercial for some kind of sex spray) during the ad breaks of Bikie Wars..

Yes I am comfortable in my own mortality and indeed there will come a day when zombies will overrun the barricades and I'll have to arm the self destruct sequence. But until that day comes, please stop pointing out that one day my children will have to front up some of their inheritance (if any) to errect a massive statue in my honor. Organising my funeral is so far down on my to do list at the moment (it's after 'Breed Black Caviar the 9th') that it definately does not need reminding.

And while we're on ads played a little too often currently..

It's in my blood.
Tom Waterhouse: Less talking about the fact you know what punters want and more actual tips for punters to punt with. Apparently I have my upcoming funeral to organise...


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