Monday, March 18, 2013

Everything old is rating again

A good friend of mine broke the news to me over twitter recently that a show I watched all of two episodes of was on its way back. Yep, faster than I could say 'Wait, someone other than me remembers this thing?' we were conversing back and forth about The Mole: Where a group of contestants had to work out which of them was actually the network planted saboteur before one of them got eliminated each week (hint: it always seemed to be the old one but never was)

Well ever faster than you can script a hashtag for it, along came a promo and suddenly there was Shura Taft (who I momentarily confused for Hotdogs from Hotdogs up late) proving that he's swapped working with cartoon characters to working with the clueless in 2013:

Will it work as well as the original? Only time and network executives will tell. However regardless of its ratings prowess, team Almigo secretly hopes that this does not give the green light to all television stations to resurrect anything and everything they find lying under a dump truck of dust in the archive vault in order to recreate 'ratings juggernauts'.

In fact we'll be quite happy if the following stays on original Betamax tape and never gets the revisited treatment ever:

(The aforementioned) HOTDOGS UP LATE

Previous Big Brother contestant Hotdogs gives you the chance to win cash provided a) you've got nothing better to do on a Saturday night than play awful games and b) you're drunk enough to wither his horrendous attempts to stretch things out in order to fin more suckers to actually ring up. (Did we mention it cost you to ring up and hang on the phone listening to Hot yabber on?)

Why it should stay buried: Do YOU remember Hotdogs? He's probably trying to forget himself too.


Desperate Yasmin needs a husband. Desperate men want to marry Yasmin. After a few episode, the network realises that ratings have hit desperate lows and axe the lot.

Why it should stay buried: There's a fair chance Yasmin's adventures wouldn't actually make it to the final episode where she finally ties the knot. Plus 'Yasmin's meeting for coffee' sounds even worse.


Richard Wilkins and a midi sounding keyboard join forces in a vague attempt to create a game show. Amazingly all the revealed songs sound incredibly similar in 8 bit midi and the show feels like you're trapped in an elevator that won't stop the Muzak.

Why it should stay buried: Both musical technology and Richard Wilkins have evolved. Game shows however haven't advanced nearly as well..


Strange dating show where a contestant starts the show chained to a bevy of the opposite sex which they drag off to dates to discover 'the one'. The date ends when a big bloke in a black leather jacket and a candle (I kid you not) rocks up or something (he's called The Gatekeeper or Locksmith?).

Why it should stay buried: it doesn't make any sense. What's with the candle? Is Taipan from Gladiators still available? Was he the Gatekeeper or the Locksmith or the Ball Breaker? Some questions are best left unanswered.

And finally


-on second thoughts, lets not..


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