Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Lotso bits n Pizzas

When you've got plenty to talk about but not enough for a full story...

My adventures this week haven't included scalding hot water, no.

...these are the adventures I find myself in currently.


Here in the land down under (where women snore and men blunder...wait, that's not how the song goes) we're in the midst of really annoying election campaigning. At the top level two really boring candidates slug it out over what to do with people on rickety boats, mobile phone upgrades and something that sounds like a boyband (but with millions less screaming girls) - the NBN (National Broadband Network). To confirm public debate over which of these two possible future leaders have less personality than the other, they recently held their own public debate and had it broadcast on any channel that didn't want to run repeats of The Big Bang Theory as usual.
In casa de Almigo this was as appealing as drinking the brake fluid out of my Toyota with a leaky straw and so after flicking over to any station that wasn't currently fascinated by swinging polls and crazy worms, we finally settled on watching some DVDs with the occasional run through Twitter for boredom's sake.

Kev is there an echo in here?

Well that turned out to be a mistake as topic of conversation was of course #Auspol and for some reason that still escapes me well after the fact, some Twitter users decided to tweet every single thing ever done during the great debate. In no time flat I knew who bored who with what, how many times someone scratched their nose and even what color ties both candidates chose that night. Someone would say something and in zero time flat, it was echoed on Twitter 56 times over.
In trying to escape The Great Debate, I'd inadvertently walked into a room where people transcribed EVERYTHING with mad abandon that I could not give a used oil filter about.

Seriously, was anyone using this amazing service because they couldn't latch on to one of the bazillion channels it was forced on? Thank god the TV wasn't accidentally playing porn at the time...


What the TV series? Why would you take a swipe at something you're really enjoying Almigo?
Au Contreras my hasty friend, I'm talking about the dome light in cars. You know how most cars are like fridges (with the light coming on when you open the door, not packed full of meat and a couple of vegies)? Well my dome light seemed to be taking the year off.
So I did my Google homework to why it had deemed I had more than enough illumination in my life and traced it back from something as simple as a blown bulb, right up to a little poo brown box buried right in the guts of the drivers side foot well that would be a nightmare to find if I ever got that far.
I was just about to jet out to go and get a new everything from the parts store when I finally looked up and realized there was a switch with a 'door' position. Which was currently set to off.

Luckily my car only has one dome light...

Amazing. The only thing this car didn't come with was an idiot alarm for when I'm in it. Always make sure something is definitely broken before you make it worse kids..


If When I finally become rich, I'm buying a bloody big farm a long way away from anything. Why? Because my folks in law have a bloody big farm a long way from anything and a few months ago the dad in law built a truly mind blowingly awesome time killer on it.

A home made rally track.

Start with something like this and then fertilize it with awesome.

I kid you not - fresh from his own imagination and with the aid of a couple of bits of farm machinery and a few spare tires, he's created a dirt track Mecca - complete with a full 360, a lovely bit of straight and tons of dirt flying in each and every direction.
To add a dumptruck of cherries on top, he's also an ex mechanic with a habit of collecting stray cars which means he's never short of something to attempt to slide sideways. The list of amazing metal that has gone through Laguna Baza has included:

1981 Datsun Stanza (I think he paid $100 for this little beast. Now his dedicated rally car, it's currently the fastest thing on the track)

1989 Mitsubishi CA Lancer (Baz got this for free for helping someone else move a car. Yes, they paid him with $50 cash and a Lancer. Hilarious. Automatic and missing on one cylinder, it goes okay after the 30 seconds it takes to launch...)

1989 Mazda Rx7 Turbo - My old car. Churned more dirt than an earth mover, couldn't grip even if you covered it in superglue and took three years to get the dirt out. Mad fun.

1994 Commodore Ute - general farm vehicle. Not very quick but quite tail happy.

I'd put the Soarer on for a spin but with the rocks and other stuff embedded in the dirt, there's a fair chance the lovely paint work won't be quite so lucky after just half a lap.

Still, I know what I'm doing after I win Tattslotto...


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