Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Drink it down with a sickness

Gah, it's always the way isn't it? I just took two weeks off to recharge my turbos, answer the Basement Jaxx's probing question 'Where's your head at', hit the road and drink a lot of beer and wine.
And as soon as I sauntered back into work with a 'I'm primed and ready to destroy something amazingly' attitude...I suddenly got clotheslined to hell by a passing cold that's sunk both boots right into my petrol tank.

That's me on the left (figuratively)

I hate being sick with a passion. 

Yep, I've been felled by a head cold, slowed by a snot flow and wrecked by a flu clone to the point where if I even contemplate going anywhere near the back shed full of exercise gear, my body takes over and forces me to move in the completely opposite direction. 
I have enough energy to stumble in and out of work, ramble on a microphone and chug down enough caffeine to make it back to the couch mid arvo. There is the point of the day when my legs decide they should be taking the rest of the month off and promptly fail to fire.
Did I mention that I really really dislike being sick?

Of course misery does love more company than needy people on Facebook which means both my wife and son are also sick, my radio co host looks rough and there's more used tissues floating around work than at an adult cinema on a busy night.

It's not all doom and gloom though as last night I discovered a remedy that I modified just enough to be able to claim my own. Thus begins my first recipe on this site that you should only attempt clad in protective clothing from head to toe (The home made weed killing mix already written about doesn't count as you shouldn't drink that...)

I read on the internet that these do something. Hence why they now play a part in my recipe.


1 teaspoon of honey (any brand)
Half a lemon crushed in your mighty paw (Make sure you fish the pips out though as you can't drink these)
1 shot of stupidly strong scotch or bourbon (Usually I enjoy a belt of a ball tearing J and B Rare whiskey but last night I substituted a shot of Bookers Ballkicking Bourbon instead from a nearby decanter and that worked just as well)
A cup of water so hot, it hurts just looking at it

- Mix the honey, lemon and bourbon/whiskey in a flame proof mug. Don't mix it too long else the spoon might melt and you'll end up with the taste of cheap spoon alloy which doesn't go well with honey.  
- Pour the scalding hot water into the cup while reciting your favorite ode to whichever god you'd sacrifice a passing goat to.
- Put something on your dvd player to distract you from the eye watering fumes pouring out of the mug. Last night Dr Who was on. Things involving sonic screwdrivers will always be far more entertaining than a daily update on political campaigning.
- Allow to cool slightly. Drink.

Now I'm no doctor (I'm sure that's come as a shock) but I have to say that after three of these amazing concoctions last night, I felt like I had no cold at all!*

Hope this helps you out in your time of sniffles!
Yours in sickness

The business of bees compel you!

*I also couldn't feel my feet but a few hours on your back in bed should remedy that...


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