Sunday, September 15, 2013

Sorry, but I think I've broken Mondays...

Maybe it's just me but I seem to be suffering from a condition currently where Mondayitis seems to be having the opposite effect...

It's Monday - I shouldn't be like this.
Instead of pissing and moaning about my day when I come home, I find myself with enough energy to oil change every car in the neighborhood while penning an e-novel about a mafia cleaner who runs a fleapit hotel, cooking up a pasta so awesome Italy gives me my own Italian birth certificate to claim me as their own and bench pressing the house while chasing my son around the place - all at the same time. 

Everyone seems tired though...Doctor, am I sick?

I can't recall how this started but usually on a Sunday I struggle more than a Biggest Loser contestant on a balance beam to get some shut eye after a weekend of frantic procrastination and this in turn (combined with a two year old that loses his dummy nightly and spits it loudly until it's found again) makes me greet the 5am wake up call with a look that's half exhaustion, half confusion and half hate (three halves - it's a big look).

Then after a shower where I meditate for ten minutes (I have fallen asleep in their briefly before) I barely remember how to get dressed, where I left the keys and how I got to work. After a cursory grunt to my radio co host (usually in the same exhausted condition as me on a Monday albeit due to completely different social circumstances) we chew into the first coffee and count down the seconds to when we talk about how cold it is.

Morning buddy, how was your weekend?
It's usually about three quarters through the show that something really strange happens - call it an act of the Gods or suddenly the coffee has kicked in but I get an energy hit and I'm off and racing like I'm sprinting for the Melbourne Cup! Twin turbos I never knew I had propel me through the rest of the morning, well into the arvo and land me on my doorstep with the insatiable desire to a) tear down and rebuild the family car from scratch b) Mow the entire town (the grass, not the people in it) c) reinvent the cooking wheel or d) all of the above and stacks more.

I'm worried every Monday that if I start tapping my foot on the floor, I'm going to put so much mad funk into it, my shoe will drill through the floorboard. I've eaten every power up in every video game known to man and even though it's pouring down today, I've avoided getting a drop on my with my boosted reflexes.
I'm that pumped and that into the zone that the Flash would probably be asking me to slow down (if he could keep up).

I'd like to claim it's diet related but I stick to pretty basic staples of meat and veggies and not ancient Himilayan Berries farted out by a wise monk that are said to give you so much energy that you actually levitate, so it's not that.
Coffees? I'm a two to three a day man. And they're simple instant brews, not from the droppings of a Javanese goat who can smell greatness in a plantation.

This does look tempting though..
It's not a boost of energy from exercise because I'm completely random about when and how much I through the iron in the garage around - and the day after I'm more drained than a bad date with Dracula. 
And why oh why it only occurs on a Monday is anyone's guess. By dinner, it'll really start to fade. The more time I spend on the very comfy couch here, the more it starts to switch off. Come tomorrow I'm back to my half a mile a minute pace, attitude and energy level that everyone around me knows and loves tolerates. 
By Friday, it feels like Monday should and that's when a major case of 'Welp, I'm stuffed' really kicks in - I'll still be excited for the weekend but more of a 'hey, I might get some sleep here!' type of thing.   
So, am I the only one who has this? Are you motivated by Mondays or is the first day of the working week your biggest ITIS injection?


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