The not so handyman's guide to weeds in your gravel driveway

Nothing kills a nice gravel pit in your own driveway than a bunch of dole budging weeds truly believing that your car runway is actually their permanent halfway house.  Case in point, my Lexus catwalk: home of Weedtopia.

Horrific! Oh the weedmanity!

Yep, it's enough to stop passing Ferraris making a beeline for your carport.
So what's a clean driveway wanting car fanatic to do?

Well thankfully I've found an item found in the common shed that sucker punches unwanted weeds right in the fun bits and then dances on their graves. And this wonderfully common item is....

...shed carpet.

Yep, beer and blood stained, oil drenched, sweat from the home gym absorbing carpet that's seen better days. In fact the rougher, the better as you want the carpet to act as the meanest, surliest feral bouncer money can buy that sends weeds packing!
Now some people swear by black plastic weed matting...but I'm not one of them. I'm sure it worked back in 1955 when the owners first blessed my driveway with the truckload of quartz look a like gravel, but it's not working anywhere near as well as it should, it's letting more green than a frog festival in and deserves the rest of it's miserable life off. So out it comes...

Things you'll need

- A fair bit of time on your hands depending on the size of your driveway/your weed problem
- A big bin for weeds. There's more than you think!
- A decent non back breaking shovel.
- Strong buff arms for ripping weak old black plastic weed matting out. 
- A broom
- Beer or your favorite tipple to celebrate the weeds demise with.

And go...

Working in sections (depending on how long your carpet is - mine was cut up when removing it from the shed ages ago), firstly remove as much gravel as you can. It doesn't matter if there's a little layer of it left on the dirt - this job doesn't have to be anywhere near level. Having a big container to shovel it into also makes things easier when it's time to pour the gravel in. If you come across any old rubbish black matting, start flexing and drag it out (this helped move a lot of gravel in the process too)
Huzzah! A driveway!
Next comes the layering of the carpet. It doesn't have to look pretty, it just has to cover as much of the dirt surface as it can to stop weeds dropping in for xmas and acting like stubborn in laws, staying there for the next ten years.

The ugly bouncer
Because you'll be pouring gravel and covering everything up, you can double up on the layers/overlap to cover the edges. Remember that it doesn't have to look pretty in the slightest as no one is ever going to see it (unless the police dig up your driveway under suspicion of you hiding a body or two under there for some reason...)

It's up to you if you want to work in sections or unearth everything and go for broke. I found it easier just to work in bits and pieces so there wasn't so much gravel on everything!

Looking the goods!
When the carpet is bedded and the gravel holding everything down, it's time to go hog wild with the broom and make it look so neat and tidy, the Sultan of Brunei would be honored to park his Bugatti Veyron there.

Driveway sorted, now the rest of the house...

(Not so) Frequently Asked Questions

Q. What about the dirt that gets mixed up with the gravel when you dig it up. Should I create some kind of filter for that?

A. Nope, just wait for a rainy day to push the dirt back down into the carpet

Q. Must it be shed carpet? I prefer a nice afghan rug under my gravel.

A. Don't we all...

Q. Can you do my driveway?

A. After mine? Not a fat rats clacker's chance in hell.


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