Sunday, February 23, 2014

Bits n pizzas 3: The pizzananing


This kid is cooler than all of us.

Bits N Pizzas: When there's not enough ranting and rambling for one with the lot but plenty of individual slices...


THE BANK CALLED

Well rather they sent me some mail - the very first statement for an account I applied for over two and a half years ago! I kid you never, 2.5 years ago I applied for a particular account and sent all the relevant details and paperwork to the correct financial institution. From there they obviously smeared it with chocolate before consuming it in a brilliant show of office lunacy, never to be seen again. And when I called they explained that nothing had arrived.

Obvious computer glitch.

Which obviously wasn't the case as someone had keyed in my details and didn't do much else before the chocolate was applied as two point five years long a computer farts and suddenly I have a statement telling me I've been pretty quiet with this account over a quarter of a decade.
No apology from the lady on the phone though, just a 'It must have been a computer glitch' before promptly cancelling it. Yep, it must have been a computer glitch that made me apply at the competitors two and a half years ago and continue to use their account since.


THE GARDENER CALLED

Top job Kim!
No wait, he just turned up to my jungle courtesy of a very generous family member. They figured our weed infested amazon could do with some help from Kim of the Line Trimmer and promptly sent him around where he proceeded to attack the garden with mad abandon. He trimmed, mowed, macheted and poisoned his way to victory and eight hours later we had our front garden back. It was a simply amazing job and he joked to me as he was packing up that in his considerable time as a gardener, he'd never met grass so thick as the forest he had to shear through here in Golden Square.

I'm not sure I should be proud of that fact or horrified over my mutating garden.


AND THE BOOST FINALLY SHOWED UP

The boost is loose!
When I traded my Mazda for the Toyota, I was very pleased to discover the previous owner had installed a boost gauge in the cockpit to ensure I could see what was going on with the twin huffers. The only problem was that in his wisdom, he'd installed it somewhere near my knee in the drivers foot well. Which meant if you actually wanted to read what it was trying to tell you you could either: a) Headbutt the steering wheel
b) Lean your torso to the left to see it past the steering wheel and hope you don't smack into a nearby tree while attempting to decipher it.
I guess he was going for that 'stealth' look as not even the driver could see it at most positions and only knew it was there after constantly putting your knee into it. However this weekend I've decided that the 'useful' look is a whole heap more practical and I have relocated it to under the CD player.
Unfortunately while my wiring skills are top notch, my fabrication skills aren't and I'm still attempting to make some kind of face plate to have it sit in. Right now it's working...just nestled in a bunch of wires in the centre console.
So it's still not with eye range and depending on my driving, it does change direction occasionally. But it's still more useful than right beside my sore knee in my opinion.. 

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