Sunday, February 9, 2014

Spectating in confusing email arguments - who invited me?

For some reason I've been involved in a few arguments over email this month. Arguments where I don't know either party or ultimately what the argument is about (I never usually get that far) but for some reason I've been invited to spectate from the sidelines while the one side battle unfolds. Lucky me.

Arguments unlike this one. Which was interesting to watch.
It's about as much fun as attempting to trim rogue nose hairs with a staple gun...

So how do I become part of these email Tet a totes then if I didn't instigate the fireworks? Because I work in the local media. It seems my occupational status of breakfast radio announcer has somehow mutated into 'Casual email argument observer' and that's a massive green light for me to be included in anyone and every one's foaming rabid argument about...well whatever has people's goats at the time. Usually it's a big companies failure to do something or some such but occasionally it's even less rational and might include acidic vitriol at the hidden new world order (I kid you not, this has happened).  

Not what I was hoping for...

I guess the theory is that I suddenly scream 'OMG CONTENT!' when an invitation to observe collides into my Outlook and I run around in my underpants in excitement finally having something to sink my radio teeth into, siding with the little person in the argument and wading into battle against the massive conglomerate.  
Ultimately though it actually works like this - I look at the email, I see the words FAILURE written twenty times in the first paragraph, realize I can't make heads nor tails about the who, what, where, why and when of anything and delete it post haste before my brain explodes from the hidden NWO secrets and passages about the Illuminati hiding secret messages in the phone sex commercials on the TV after 2am. Oh and the spelling is usually awful to boot. And don't get me started on the ones pointing out the failures of politicians I've never heard of because as soon as the word 'politics' are mentioned, my brain goes numb like a Bardot lyric.

I reckon the people who include me in on their ranting don't actually look deep enough into the 'radio' tag I proudly wear. I'm not the radio equivalent of the fact finding, world changing, power to the people talk back gurus like your John Laws and Neil Mitchell. Nay, I play Pitbull and Lorde, I talk about Beyonce's legs and give you and the family the chance to win tickets to the speedway daily. I probably couldn't find a spot in my show for your argument even if you coated it in honey and told me it was a fat burner the world couldn't get enough of.

I am talking on the world here. You need to read my EVERY WORD!

But if it is you and your one person battle against the TV network I don't actually work for, the creator of a lunatic who is a jajillionaire who doesn't understand cryptocurrency or the writer of a horribly worded 100 page novel against a government department that probably doesn't exist in reality, I still thank you. Well for the amusement sides of things anyway - it sure beats the hell out of the daily emails telling me I've done something wrong again.. ;)

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