Sunday, July 20, 2014

My followers on Twitter want me to lose the kilos..

I use Twitter for three things mainly:
1) To spy on workmates
2) To plug my wise words on this site
3) Pretend I'm professional.

Real like a parking fine.


What I have never used Twitter for:
1) Guides on how to lose weight
2) Weight loss guides
3) Somewhere to go when I want to FIND OUT MORE ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT. NOW.

And yet for some strange reason, every second follower of mine has the following in common - an awful inspirational or poetic bio (stolen from somewhere else), a picture that's someone other than them and a recent post about losing weight. Or a retweet of someone else posting about losing weight.

Twitter...are you trying to tell me my bum looks big here??

 Here's my latest follower and her love for GETTING THIN and SLIMMING DOWN. Lets check the list.

1. Inspirational bio and highly unlikely it's them bio pic? Check

 2. Posts about losing weight?

Check

Check

Go away.
Checkmate.

But Almigo, it must be only a couple of your followers who are obsessed with the REVOLUTIONARY DIET PILLS THAT WILL MELT FAT OFF YOUR THIGHS AND DROWN YOU IN MODELLING CONTRACTS? Surely only a handful of these people who CAN MAKE YOU SLIM DOWN 282 DRESS SIZES WITH ONE PILL CLICK HERE!
Surely?
Surely not Almigo.

I mean these pills might be popular right?

And lots of people use sayings for profiles yes?

Okay, forget I said anything.
As much as I appreciate the fan following (I truly do as this would get pretty boring without an audience) I'm quite comfortable in my 83 (okay 84.5 kgs) kilo frame. Sure it's probably got a touch too much hair (sexy like caveman!) and is not in 'fighting' shape currently, it suits me just fine. I'm not about to enter the porn industry (maybe the wrong words there), nor appear on TV or have anything to do with Snooki (thank God) so I think I'm good.

Luckily if I decide to forgo the Secret Men's Business sessions and take the lazy way out, I'll have plenty of options...
Thanks Twitter!

(Is this happening to anyone else?)

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