Monday, March 30, 2015

I haven't seen you for ages so BUY MY STUFF!

Isn't it nice to catch up with someone you haven't heard from in a while?

So I said to him, 'Buy this shit now damnit!'

Until they try to sell you something that is...

Out of the blue recently I got a Facebook message from an old friend looking to reconnect after about 7 years since we last crossed paths. And all was well and good until I got to the next line which read:

I'm really excited about my new business and I feel you would really appreciate the bargains I have through my online sales!

In other words: I really want you to buy my stuff and I'm simply using Facebook as a selling tool, regardless of who you actually are. I mean if you took out the name 'Almigo' and replaced it with anyone elses, the message would fit just the same. Copy paste, rinse, repeat (well except that bit that says 'Maybe you'd like to pass on this link to your wife' because not everyone else has one of course..)

You mean a lot to me. And you need this REVOLUTIONARY NEW SLICER!

Yeah I realize there's no market like caring friends and family market but when we haven't caught up for a drink in seven years, attempting to make contact with me by shilling some product is a turbo fed way to quickly being unfollowed. There was no idle chit chat, no 'Hey did you really race around in a 1600hp Monster Truck' ice breaking questions, just a hope you're well BUY MY DAMN PRODUCT! (If there's a guilt trap in here somewhere for not making contact myself I'm pretty oblivious to it..)

Wait, that's not what I mean when I said Icebreakers. Don't try to sell me this please.

Unfortunately this isn't the only time this has happened to me as my position of radio announcer seems to be a green light for friends to try and really push their product/sales/service without a single catch up for old times sake or a simple coffee and chat with no mention of shop talk whatsoever. The rules of my catchups are pretty simple: You mention something you really think would change my life forever and you're buying the next round.

Sigh, it seems busy lives have made people forget why we were friends in the first place. Shame because I do like inviting people around to BBQ's who aren't toting a demostrator bag along that would probably take both barrels to my credit card if my wife had her way.

So anyway, without trying to sell me something, how the hell are you?

2016 EDIT: After almost 10 years of seeing neither hide nor hair of an ex girlfriend, she suddenly asks to connect on Linkedin. All that time with zero contact (it wasn't a happy ending so yeah) and suddenly you want me as part of your professional network when we're in completely different industries?

Yeah...nah :D


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