Mother Nature melted my modem

Christmas Eve 2019 - there was a thunderclap and lightning storm so loud it triggered a lock down at a local pub and when we finally braved the heavy rains and made it home, we discovered my router modem hadn't fared so well after it either..

I love my D6220. When it hasn't had lightning bolts thrown at it.

IT'D BE A VERY LONG DAY AT WORK...

And when my mother up for a visit suggested a trip to the local pub for dinner and drinks rather than cooking before the big Christmas day, well who could argue with that?

The beer was ice cold, the steak was slightly over charred (the prawns and garlic sauce was nice though) and when the lightning rolled though a thunderclap that sounded like a nearby nuclear explosion put the entire complex into alert mode. 

The doors locked themselves tight.

A siren wailed killing any and all attempts at conversation.

The kitchen team looked at the bar staff in disbelief and the bar staff in turn hunted down a manager or at least someone who knew how to shut down the hyperactive system.

Someone finally found a code on a slip of paper behind the Creme De Menthe although it must have been changed at some later stage because it didn't work.    

So they left a note on the doors 'Not opening, use side access' and opened up as many other doors and windows as possible to let air in and alarm annoyed punters out.
Eventually growing bored of no one paying it any attention, the alarm shut itself off and it was business as usual. Back to the beer and desert for the kids and when they were done we dashed to the car in the rain and hightailed it home.

Only to find one dead modem waiting in store.

THE SERIES OF LIGHTS BLINKED NO MORE

'Can you help me setup your wifi again? It's not working currently' Mum asked and it was the first sign that something was amiss. Second sign was a complete and utter lack of any power indication in my now cooked Netgear D6220.

Oh good. Thunderbolts and lightning (very very frightening GALILEO!) seemingly fried my router. No internet kids til Dad crafts an emergency solution...on Christmas Eve night. 

A quick Google pointed out that all modem routers seem to run on the same power plug so I had the genius idea to venture down into the garage, find my Archer D7 that I used previously with the NBN and pinch the cord from that as a test.
And amazingly, it worked. Turns out I could use another modems power plug to power up this one. You learn something new every day don't you?

All lights lit up, save one. DSL. It's connection to the outside world.
Had mother nature blown out my modems power supply AND munched on my NBN connection? Seriously, what the hell? Is it because I drive a non green car from 2000? Have I not recycled enough this month? WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM??

With not much I could do about that side of things, we just had to wait and hope that a Christmas Miracle would come through and we'd all wake to a bounty of fresh internet on December 25..

#didn'thappen #thenetisdead #merryxmas

MERRY XMAS, WE'RE ALL ON HOLS

To no surprise whatsoever, my ISP was on holidays with a message pointing out that Boxing Day was also a holiday and no, no matter how long I hang on the phone nobody is going to answer. But refusing to be defeated, I sent them a kind email wishing them happy holidays and when they got back, could someone please book a line test. 

I didn't expect it to be answered until the 27th but later that day I got a nice email back explaining that they had booked a line test and a NBN technician would be around as soon as possible to make sure nothing dodgy was going on. 

Mate Internet, that is bloody amazing service for sure. Thank you.

A text later confirmed the NBN guy would be around for a look...on New Years Eve. Maybe he was super busy checking other dead modems that week? Still, it was progress.

Hang on kids, we should get Netflix resurrected before the end of the year. Hopefully. 

ON THE LAST DAY OF 2019..

...my true love gave to me...no wait, the NBN tech rolled in to consult the machine spirits and calm the angry machinery enough to give me signal. Out of professional courtesy I didn't take a picture while he worked but here's a quick approximation: 

After checking the line and looking bewildered at the terrible job of installing someone had done in the first place (he kindly fixed this up for us with a new port that wasn't crumbling with every download) he announced that no the line was fine....

...my router modem was dead. Well not dead really but fried enough to not work as it should. Time for a new modem mate, have a nice day.

'I'LL GO SHOPPING'

Knowing how busy my work day would be my wife offered to pick up a replacement once I worked out what model I wanted. And after some furious googling I discovered the Archer VR500v would be a perfect replacement!

(If only the website hadn't lied blatantly when it said 'in stock' because of course when Wifey went to go and buy one, no one in store had any one hand.)

So plan B, let's buy a brand new...Netgear D6220!

Yes I've replaced my old one with the exact same model because a) it was roughly the same affordable price it was when I bought one over 12 months ago b) it's easy to setup and rarely falls over and c) unless Mother Nature cracks the shits again, it should work fine.

Also everything else available locally was either super expensive (I don't really need a Nighthawk..) or complete rubbish.

So same again please - meet the new modem, just like the old one!

NO LIGHTS AT THE END OF THE DSL TUNNEL..

I plugged it in, got it connected, sacrificed a passing goat and hoped. And while all lights came on in a blaze of fresh led green....I still couldn't get it to do anything apart from light up the room. 'No internet connection, contact your ISP.' I spent three hours checking settings, pulling cords and swearing it in every language I knew and many I made up on the spot. 

Then I went off to a New Years Eve pool party to drown my frustrations in some fruity beers.

(And tried again for twenty minutes on the first day of the new year just in case that miracle I was expecting on Xmas materialized suddenly. Which it did not.)

Sigh. Mother Nature must despise me for some reason..

I'LL GET YOU TO CHANGE THESE TWO NUMBERS ON YOUR LOGIN...

Three cups of coffee and endless calls to a message machine telling me I'd called out of office hours (I hadn't) and I finally decided not to wait, call the awake sales team and get them to patch me through to technical. Which they did happily and a very calm tech walked me through my settings and got me to change two numbers.

Two. 

And suddenly the internet burst out of the ether like a hell fresh demon. The kids rejoiced, my wife signed in relief, I stopped throwing my burnt out old modem around the house like a Frisbee. 

We can watch, stream, Facetime and all those things we could before MN cracked the shits. Feels good.

(Although to this day I still don't know what set her off in the first place...here's hoping the new place we're moving too is more lightning proof than this one..)