No credit card for you Mr Cybercrim

The bank just called, apparently my new card is here waiting for pick up at my local branch.

Which would be great...if I'd ordered a new card. Or if my old one had expired. 

Neither has happened..

You little bastard...

So which one of you cyber criminals went through my trash this week, pretending to be me?

'Could it be replacing a damaged card?' a very bored bank employee asked. 

'Nope, I have it here in my hand and it's like brand new.'

'Does it still work?'

No idea on that one, I haven't used it for a while (in the whole 'paying this damn thing off' situation). But unless credit cards suddenly have a 'Ohh, better send out signals to my financial institution that I need an upgrade shortly!' chip in them that I am unaware of and since I did not place a call, sms or phone call requesting one, how has this new one come into existence? 

Luckily they were more than happy to attack this new card post haste with a pair of scissors. Cut down in it's prime before it even had the chance at a single transaction but it's safer that way. I really don't need to buy a $3500 Seadoo from eBay or help fund some Upper Mongolian Death Squad get new battle socks. 

No Seadoo for you !%^face.

Hopefully it's a computer glitch, ghost in the machine or simple clerical error and not someone fishing through the collection of dirty nappies and food scraps for bits of paper for possible attempts at identity theft. If that is the latter though, I hope they choke on a used spark plug.