8 puzzling questions about The Shannara Chronicles

So I've been watching (and thoroughly enjoying) MTV's The Chronicles of Shannara but it's left a few perplexing questions rolling around my curious mind...

Like: Is she secretly Catwoman?

(WARNING, I MIGHT ACCIDENTALLY SET OFF A SPOILER LANDMINE IN MY RAMBLINGS - IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED IT YET, BE WARNED!


WHY ARE THE QUALIFICATIONS FOR BEING AN ELF GUARD IN THE SHANNARA CHRONICLES SO DAMN LOW? 

Stare straight ahead, hope nothing happens. 

Seriously for a bunch of steel clad Samurai looking security, they sure are pretty useless. They've managed to let in Rovers, demon Shapeshifters and murderous Gnomes into the palace, they've lost the Kings dog and been taken out by throwing stars, a knife to the throat, demons, a sole torture expert and pretty much anything that rolls into Elf land with evil intentions. Sure they look fierce when standing still but when the crap hits the fans you're better off trying to use them as a personal shield than hanging about in the hope they're victorious.

WHY DOES EVERYONE ASSUME DEAD IS DEAD?

And this isn't just questioning the ineptitude of the palace guards as Allanon the druid is just as guilty. He drops a shapeshifter demon with a vicious neckbreaker that would make World Wrestling Entertainment proud but doesn't actually follow up with any kind of 'Well we better make sure this thing doesn't come back!' move, leaving the clean up to random guard number #275 with instructions on how to use fire. And I've already proved how useless they are at anything. Demons just pop up again after explosions, nobody checked on the tortue expert after giving him a hammering and the King's probably still alive somewhere, due to the negligence of the shapeshifter.
Speaking of The Walking Dead Druid, he seems to have more reincarnations than Wylie Coyote because no one has any follow through in working out how he keeps getting reborn. Yes we've made him disappear with this evil sword we dug up but conveniently forgotten than he should look about 30 years older than he does and farts around with mind blowing magic. Maybe we should blow up that cave he live in and then do him in?

Speaking of...

WHY DOES THE WISEST GUY IN THE REALM LIVE IN A CAVE? 

Waking up with Cave Hair

And sleep on a slab? Especially when the Elves live in luxury and if they fail a simple intelligence test, they get promoted to palace guard? Here's a guy who knows a ridiculous amount of everything including why you probably shouldn't wave around an ancient weapon locked away under the palace for security reasons and ultimately how to vanquish all evil...but he's forced to live in a cave and be reborn on rock. He probably feasts on nuts and berries too while those idiot guards gorge themselves on roast boar and elf wine...

AFTER REDISCOVERING FORGOTTEN TECHNOLOGY, WHY IS THE BEST THING THEY CAN USE IT FOR A DANCE PARTY? 

Look I know there's an agreement with the local trolls - feed them once a month and they'll leave our settlement alone...for a bit - but now that we've discovered electricity (again) surely throwing some kind of blow out party is not the greatest idea for it's use? How about not ignoring the looming threat of angry trolls and put our rediscovering useful technology to great use by, I don't know...killing some trolls maybe? I know the weekly dance night and Star Trek rerun is kind of fun (while there's reports of demons about) but we'll have plenty of time for dressing up in country garb and throwing a wicked rave after we've weaponized what we've learnt and gone troll hunting. Hell, even fire seems like an effective weapon once they've got trapped in our cages (we're very good at building those!) so how about it?

SPEAKING OFF FORGOTTEN TECH - HOW IS HALF OF IT STILL WORKING?

If only we attached balloons to this thing..

Leave a Huey helicopter in the Forrest and most of it rots away. Bridges fall down due to age and satellite dishes fall to pieces. Yes things that aren't made of steel seem to fare fantastically well - amazingly in the dance hall Amberle falls into some of the balloons still have traces of gas in them after god knows how many years! The speakers seem in pristine condition considering the speaker element should be completely tattered - same with the projector film. The streamers never rotted, the powder in the bullets are still good. I'm just waiting for the episode where they replace the Codex with the internet..

WHY ARE THE GNOMES SO RICH AND YET LOOK LIKE NASTY BEGGARS?

They must be rich as there's entire groups of human's roaming the countryside lopping off Elf ears to sell to them...and that's all they do to turn a gold coin. So elf ears must be pretty pricey (or the Elf Hunters are bloody good at their job and sell them in bulk) and if they are, why are the gnomes not spending some of that coin to look less like they sleep on the streets? Don't forget that a single gun is worth an entire field of corn...in comparison what the hell is the value of an elf bit?
So which is more expensive - Elf stones that only one guy can seem to use or Elf ears that only Gnomes eat? So confused..

DID THE ELF PALACE GUARDS TRAIN THE ELF HUNTERS?

They must have - How else would you explain the Elf with only one ear Will runs into - the victim of a pretty half assed job in the elf ear collection job? Are there more elves in the cage? Nope, just a flying beast and it has its ears intact. They managed to let a single lucrative ear go runabout, one got slain by the owner of the intact ear and right after selling Eretria they wind up dead anyhow. Ergo - they must have been trained by the kings of being useless, the Palace Guard.

FINALLY HOW DO WE KEEP TRUSTING EVERYONE AFTER ALL THIS TIME? 

Oh look, it happened again..

Rovers = dodgy. That Elf caretaker who feeds us and then tries to torture us for fun = dodgy. Human dance party = covers the noise of the tithe to feed the trolls = dodgy. Elf Hunters = Well we're elves and the ones being hunted so we know they're dodgy. Eretria = once dodgy but still could go either way. Cephelo = would sell his adopted daughter for a mug of ale and a troll skin rug = Dodgy dad. Sword under the palace? Well that's actually evil so = dodgy. Yet for some reason we give everyone the benefit of the doubt until we're captured again...and again...and again...maybe the next random group will help us out here?