For the love of a dead lawnmower

Well that sad day finally came, when my ex-millionares lawnmower finally bit the dirt and not in a spinning blades chop down the surrounding jungle kind of way. I could have taken it to the local tip or maybe left it outside on the lawn for anyone to help themselves too....but foolishly I tried to make some money from it through Gumtree and that's where the fun began..

Rust in pieces

WHAT WENT WRONG?

Damned if I know. One weekend it started and worked, the next it did not. And the usual threats of violence and promises of a damn good thrashing didn't manage to coax it back to life either.



So me being me pulled it all apart to see if there was anything blocking anything, couldn't find a problem, put it all back together and lo and behold...it still didn't start. So rather than learn lawnmower voodoo and somehow turn it into a zombie mower, I opted for getting rid of it on Gumtree and hopefully buying another $50 mower of a pair of millionaires..

WHAT'S A DEAD ONE WORTH NOWADAYS?

$15 it seems judging by the other ads for people wanting to buy dead mowers. I could have called one of them...but since I wanted to get rid of it quick, I set it at fifteen dollereedoos and waited for the messages to flood in. Which a couple did shortly after:

POTENTIAL BUYER: THE GHOST OF GUMTREE

 

Sadly it's not the first time I've crossed paths with a flakey gumtree ghost - those who tell you they're super keen on what you're selling, will organise a time and then mysteriously not show nor tell you why. We raced home from a lovely sunny afternoon Sunday Session to make our appointment with this idiot who failed to show and then completely ignored the message that Gumtree sends to everyone when something sells explaining that it's unavailable, asking if he could pick it up sometime the next day (no apologies for missing the first time made either..) 

ACTUAL BUYER: I AM TERRIBLY EXCITED BY YOUR DEAD MOWER AL!

Got Mower?

Captain Superkeen popped up a mere half an hour after I gave up on Gumtree Ghost actually doing anything remotely involved in actually showing up. The Captain was going to be in my neck of the woods tomorrow at 7:30am and could he pretty please swing buy and buy my mower bits on wheels. 

I sent a message back explaining that I'm using on the road at that time but if he was there a little earlier, say 7:15 then we could do business.

I will be there at 7am.

7am.

So you can just imagine how thrilled I was at 6:30 this morning, having just stepped out of the shower dripping wet and naked the day I was born and there's a knock on the door. 

Are you f#$%^&^g kidding me? 

After throwing on my clothes (no time for a towel) I opened the door to see a guy in farmers clothes grinning at the thought of his new project.

'Here for the mower!' he beamed. No explanation about what he was doing there a good half hour early though..

'Er...meet me at the gate over there...' I mumbled still not awake. At all. 'I'll go get it.'

His eyes lit up at the sight of this ex millionaires special rolling through the gate. 

'These Supaswifts make great bases don't they mate!' he exclaimed. 

Uhhh? Hnnnn? My brain in caveman mode couldn't comprehend what he just said so I just grunted, took the money and closed the gate. Goodbye.

I marked it as sold on Gumtree which sent a message to everyone else interested that it was now off the the table. Or the grass technically. Of course that doesn't apply to ghosts:

Whoooooo! Can I pick it up today??

I sure hope buying my next lawnmower isn't half as eventually as selling a dead one...