Hit the road family - day 2: Smoke em if you got em

Okay so with home internet all set up, the saga can continue!*

And on road trip day 2 it's all about bananas, angry tradies and the most picturesque shit hole in Australia...

The day started with a quick visit and photo opportunity to the Big Banana, Coff's Harbours own. And of course given that it's a Banana crawling with tourists, it's best to mask up because there's nothing worse than an unprotected banana. Wrap it up kids. 

(Bringing back the slightly hairy bushranger look for 2021)

The lady in the rock shop (think geology more than ACDC) was a bit surprised by that fact that all four of us were masked up but after chatting to her about tourists coming everywhere to marvel at the banana (and her rocks) she did understand. Still, I was very thankful to take the thing off in the car, as sexy as it looks above.

However on the way back onto the road, we copped an angry tradie behind us very annoyed that I wasn't throwing myself into oncoming traffic from a right hand turn (it's hard to point out your turbo wagon now has the take off speed of a gutted slug and I wasn't prepared to put my entire family at risk for anyone or anything.) I got a middle finger salute when we finally crossed the road, he got some words back about what he could do to himself behind closed doors (not loud enough for the kids to hear mind) and the Minister of Calm (my wife) pointed out that I didn't need to put my foot down like I did because once again smoke was shooting out of the exhaust from the possibly busted turbo. Once calm, we hit the road while I thought evil thoughts of the tradie falling off a ladder or having his jet ski collection stolen.  

THE HILLS ARE ALIVE, WITH THE SOUND OF A STRUGGLING WAGON

Being a big heavy beastie that it is, the wagon does not like hills much.  Even more so when it's down on power and the turbo decides to take the month off. So you can practically picture how much fun we had when we found ourselves punching on with the hills on the mountain climb to the town of Dorrigo (and through it's national park). It wheezed along like an asthmatic steam train and after trying it's little heart out to do something, anything, I took over from the struggling transmission (ie kept it in second gear most of the way.) As much of a slog as it was (and I vowed to avoid all mountain passes from that point on) it did have some beautifully scenic sights though.

The best sights of the day though? That belonged to a town with a name that sounded like a vampire's hunchbacked henchman soon after.

EBOR, IT'S ALIVE! ALIVE!

There's not much going on in the town of Ebor (Although the 166 people who live there may tell you something different) however it has the most incredible rest stop you're ever going to randomly stop at. The toilets are literally shit holes (so toilets build over a large open cavern you crap into) but nearby you get a breathtaking view from one side to the other. Ala this is one side: 

Which you think would be spectacular enough but then you look to the other side and...

...you're just a couple of hobbits away from a blockbuster movie. Incredible. Anyway no time to dawdle, it's time to come face to face with a vending machine full of meat!

NICE TO MEAT YOU (USE CORRECT CHANGE)

We stopped for lunch in Armidale where in a local shopping centre we discovered a meat vending machine! Part of the local butcher shop, you were spoiled for choice as long as you wanted some kind of sausages or rissoles. If you didn't want either then you'd walk into the store and go from there. Still if you were having a BBQ in the big park across the road and suddenly needed more snags, how good would this thing be?

From there we pushed on to Tamworth, the country music capital of Australia. Sadly it wasn't full of cowboy hats as I first expected, we didn't drive through a rodeo and I didn't pen a killer album on the drive to the hotel. But hey, we did see some kind of country themed bus parked outside - not sure if they were a band or a rodeo team? And the car didn't catch on fire, so that's a bonus!

Up next: One big guitar and the town where comedian Lenny Henry is king...

*A huge shout out to my internet provider Mate Internet Australia. They're not sponsors but I've been using them for years and for the connection here in Albury I rang them in the morning and they had a new connection up and running by dinner time. Considering it could have been anywhere from 24 to 72 hours, that's incredibly quick. Thanks again Mate!