Afternoon is Good, Vladasputa!

Hello, welcome is bid to latest episode of exciting news cast, Afternoon Is Good, Vladasputa! Where we having big look of news of day in glorious Vladasputa, city of the Baggus Ratcatcher! 

I am host, oh yes, is me Egor Luvmachin and here be news of day! Glory!

Firstly some news of fantastic variety in downtown Vladasputa just past the river of strange smell, where we welcome shop which be selling of the coffee and of the pastry, international chain Coffee Time! Finally on long journey to mines for digging of glory, now you can buy big bucket of coffee wake juice for handful of Sputa coin! For more of the details necessary, let us do the crossing to two starred chef celebrity Coooket Gud. Hello Cooket. 

Hullo Egor, hair is mighty today yes! Yes many Vladasputa worker line up today for chance to have lady crush small pebble of coffee tree and mix with water hit by boil. Just lowly 30 minute of waiting and now you too can have cup of crushed 'Roast of the International!' Small town across river of strange smell, Vladoonten be mighty of the jealous because they too be of the wanting shop which be selling the brew of the west. Just look at edge of cutting design!

Wowee! Do not forgets people, they are open all hours of day except night and of Thursday, Tuesday and Wednesday make appointment. Plenty of the time to be sipping on the juicy bean! Maybe you try slice of squirrel cake, made by Cooket Gud, which be me!

Make up artist of humble studio, please bring me rag for the wiping of the mouth. Thinking of cake and bean juice is making water teeth.

In story on list next, do we have possible sighting of the celebrity? Gruda from skinning of rat business on Shuga street be reporting she think that glorious Michael Keaton of hit movie 'Johnny Dangerously' which now be showing at Dimitri Cineplay be walking past shop. However when she put down rat that she be working on for new gloves, Michael be of the gone. Have you been sighting for the Keaton? Please ring studio now!

Moving on, it be seems that many of students at Captain Dan's house of the learning were surprised by guest of the special variety when local musician and champion chimney sweeping Rubev Blowba popped by to perform innovative take on classic pop song, Agadoo Doo. Students watch him perform remix for many hour before teachers noticed him on grounds and called police.

One of many moments when Egor say 'God I be of the wishing I was attendance!'

Let us be discussing the talk of the sports now, so to former Captain of Vladsputa Tunnel Carvers, Shiggsy Circusdwell, I throw you! Greetings Shiggsys!

Hullo Egor, hair is powerful, hello eligible lady of Vladasputa too, I is single still, you call now. Anyway it is busy time for the Vladasputa team of football, the mighty Can Openers. This week they be facing Vladoonten rivals, Peeler of Potatos. Put mark on words of mine, with rivalry there will be blood this week so you bring the kids, good time for all. 

In other sport of fine country, Kicking of the Can, superstar Bootsavick has stated him not returning to national team next year unless demands be meeting. He be wanting of the cheerleaders like football of Americas and more Sputa coin before turning up on field of battle. Coach Olga Rockthro heard saying of comment, who he think he be?  Igi Swifkik? We watch of excited breath!

That it for busy sport season, back to you Egor!

Thanks be to you Shiggys and luck of the favorable kind go to mighty Can Openers!

This just in, a new track for the dancing has now been included on play list at club Well Yeah. This weekend DJ Sniffrat getting set to be playing 'Lobster of Rock!' by famous American group B52 Bombers. Guaranteed to have you shaking of the bottom fats to this smooth of the groove while you sip on latest batch of fermented potato direct from backyard of Olga Rockthro. Do not be forgetting, kids drink for free after 1am.

We will be back after this quick like message from glorious sponsorship!

'Hullo, yes this is on? Okay! This weekend at world famous Vladasputa Funerals and Beauty of the Treatments Centre we have offer that make you go "I am amazement!" Bury Grandma or Grandpa and receive complimentary sexy look, eyebrow tame!

Yes your ears be in the position of working good peoples, bury a village elder and get one hour treatment of eyebrow tame by me, Machette Melinda. I have many month of eyebrow tame experience and when people see your new brow hacked back in place, they go pineapple, promise. So what you waiting for? Pull relative from cold storage and bring them down to save, save, save!!'

Like they be saying in fiction science series Star Track Down, resistance against red hot offer be quite daunting!

Maybe get eyebrow tame before go to Well Yeah to shake hooty to Lobster of Rock? I know where I be this weekend!

Speaking of let us look at some things that may or may not be of the happening in regarding to weather, is over to you sexy weather girl Bottomless Cup!

 

Afternoon is Good, Vladasputa! Night is not however, many rain and much wind and that is just in Old Man Club! Ha ha, I joke. No of the serious, put out pots and pans for rain because you will be filling up the monthly bath tonight! Geiger counter reading from Windows 95 be low, chance of finding partner to keep you warm at Well Yeah this weekend good! On Sunday possible flood to get you to church on time then Monday back to mines with mild sunshine and many mud. Not just time yet to put away Hazmat suit Egor and I am the looking forward to eyebrow tame too when Grandma Cup finally go underground. Maybe she even stay there this time! Back to yous Egot after this quick glorious sponsorship!

'Hello sexy mechanics of Vladasputa! Are you looking for part to finish off car of transport? We have many part in big pile right outside Vladasputa Funerals and Beauty of The Treatments Centre! Maybe even have part that is correct for your conveyance! We have many exhaust, many belt, door handles - you come and fill bag for only 5 Sputas! Buy one door, we throw window in! Bring straw, suck out much coolant! Mention this add on Afternoon is Good, Vladasputa and my father Grigori the Gory supply you with tale of war you not heard before!

Remember, if we not have it then like your car is post 1975 and not glorious Vladasputa mobile. Look at fine selection!

Open every day unless I busy wrestling with tame eyebrow! You need parts? You think Vladasputa funerals!
 

This is reminding me, I might try seat belt in my car this year.

Anyways, that is all news today. Have a great night everybody and see you rocking your lobster and againg your doo at Well Yeah this weekend.

Until then, Afternoon is Good Vladasputa!