The magnificent seven (yabbies)

For the briefest moment over the Christmas holidays, life was calm. It was just me, a cold beer and a decent sized dam ready to be explored. And even though the family joined me soon after my discovery of the first yabbie, I still spent the good part of an afternoon relaxing, sipping and occasionally cheering as each yabbie joined the collection.

Moon's out, so it's Yabbie time!

Come and meet the dam family!

A YABBIE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YABBIES?

If you're not from these parts (these parts being Australia) then allow me to introduce you to the awesomely named Cherax Destructor, an Aussie freshwater critter usually found in dams and reservoirs. It's a popular past time catching them and cooking them up but I spent the afternoon playing catch and release, popping them into a handy nearby pot for the count.

You better not be using my good cookware! - The mother in law when seeing the start of my huge haul.

After explaining that no, I didn't sneak in while the rest of the party inside had their back turned and I'd found it in the scrap pile out the back of the farm, she instantly relaxed and joined in. The traps on hand were old and falling to pieces but that was part of the challenge. What would be lurking in the muddy depths with some leftover Christmas meats used as bait?

Ooh,  there's one!

Soon the area was full of excited squeals from both my kids as more and more Yabbies (or Yab Yab's as we nicknamed them pretty quickly) emerged. Let's meet those that fell for my wily charms (or more than likely the bait on board..)

YABBASAURUS

Towering over every other catch by a factor of at least 3x, Yabbasauraus not only took up most of the space in the pot due to their sheer dimensions but was a notorious escape artist and would be halfway back to the dam before you could say 'Hey wait a minute, where did the big one get too?' It obviously is the head honcho of the Yabafia under the dam waters, using the others in the pot as an escape ladder and is not a Yabbie to mess with. Or get your fingers stuck in its claws..

YABBATOSH

Very high and mighty Yabbie with slightly racist overtones. Continually bragged about it's other Dam in the Maldives and scoffed at my lack of Seadoo. Complained loudly when placed in the pot of plenty that the others in there had far too much mud on them for its liking. Demanded caviar and champagne for it's brief time in the collection.

YABBANOID

Very vocal about theories on anything and everything. Asked continually if I was double vacced and then yelled about it all being a government plot and now I was a walking talking human tower of 5G. Referred to the other yabbies as Sheeple. Gave a great speech all about what was in the damn water and how we're all brainless zombies because of it. Apparently it knows what happened to JFK but refuses to share.

YABBABULL

Constantly singing to the chagrin of everyone else in the pot. Starts every song by introducing itself as Mr Yabwide. Only seems to know two songs, one about sleeping with other yabbies and the others about how much yabbies seemingly want to sleep with him. Refuses any offered duets from anyone else in the dam. Believes its mad flows are key to making it to a dam much bigger than this one.

YABBABOLT

Future Yabbie Olympian whenever we decide that humans are far too boring to watch and we should let crustaceans take out place instead. Continually attempting a backflip.

YABBABENT

The slowest Yabbie. The hungriest Yabbie. The only Yabbie that reacted a full five minutes later than everyone every fished out of the dam. Will sit and listen to both Yabbabull and Yabbanoid ramble for hours without moving a limb (or remembering what happened). Will nod approvingly if you play Hits from the Bong by Cypress Hill. 

DRAMATICYAB

Spender of everyone elses money and lover of anything and everything with the Hilton's or the Kardashian's. Every problem is someone elses fault. Future actress once Hollywood finally discovers what they're missing. Does not want to be associated with any other Yab save for Yabbabull, provided she doesn't have to hear him sing. Not qualified to do anything, massive drama queen. Highly annoyed she was the last one put back in the dam when it was release time.
Could still hear her complain back underwater while I put away the traps for next year..