Forget the blind leading the blind here, in my case right now it's the injured leading the unknown as we face the Lethal Lobsters with no idea whatsoever if most of the team are going to show up..
At the time of writing there's roughly three and a bit hours to go before the first game of round 6 in the AFL when GWS take on St Kilda and not one single player in the team has any symbol about their current status for this round anywhere near them.
Have any been selected to play this round? I don't know.
Is Dunstan still injured? No freaking clue.
What the hell happened to Franklin last week? THE APP LEAVES ME GUESSING.
Usually there's lights across the field, green being that player selected, red means something bad's happened and the Easter egg from memory means an emergency. I can't confirm any of that right now however because someone on the app has fallen asleep at the wheel again and there's no updates on anyone.
Looks like I'm going to have to do my own homework here and if you were one of my unfortunate teachers back in the 90s, you know that's a struggle. But anywhos, let's consult team doctor Khiron to see if he has any better idea what's going on here:
*Consults data slate*
Okay, Pittonet's back injury seems okay and he's not on the injury list so let's play him.
Franklin injured a finger and it's subject to a test. Swap him out if you can or you run the risk of him not playing.
Dusty is still out of action for personal reasons.
McGovern is out with Health and Safety protocols which is usually covid related so it's TBA when he's back..
Well that's a slightly clearer picture than what I started with I guess. Time to do a little cutting and pasting to form some kind of a team here..
Wright subs in for Franklin
Young subs in for McGovern
The Bont is still captain (Given the fact that McGovern is out of action, he still might be Captain for a while. Well unless Pendlebury has a few ripper rounds.)
Right, is that enough to finally score another win and take down Leigh's Lethal Lobsters? 🦞 Let's hope so!
GAME TIME!
Not that I'm expecting good things at all here based on previous performance but to run through the wash of round 6 we welcome...uh....well I'm not exactly sure. Has Alpha Delta been fixed yet? Has he organised another replacement?
Excellent, and you are?
Oh god, what?
Yes that's right! It's my role to increase the positivity of this team because as we all now, postivity = productivity. Being positive across all facets helps incorporate a dynamic team spirit and fosters collectiveness along the working group.
Right...so we've got to be positive even though if my team was a car, it's already blown up three engines and caught on fire twice this season?
Yes indeed, even in tough times you must remain positive because it all flows from the top. Imagine you're a mountain, a positive mountain of course with a cap of positive sno-
Greaaaaaat! I think I've got it! Now how about we move onto the teams performance this week?
Before I do that, I feel that in order to have welcome vibes absorb themselves in this report, some of the language must be changed from negative connotations to less so.
For example, from now on Players Who Didn't Play in the round will now be referred to as 'Popping off to the shop' which is a much more positive outcome. Also low scorers will now be referred to as 'Players endeavouring to perform better next round.' That sounds much better don't you agree?
What about players who fail me constantly, can you coin a term for that then?
Ahhh....how about 'Those looking forward to spending some quality time relaxing on the free market?' I think that's positive enough don't you?
Noted. Now your report please Natalie.
Well it seems there must have been some red hot sales on somewhere this round because a few players who we thought were listed to play actually spent an enjoyable weekend 'At the shops.'
This includes Young, Dangerfield and the returning Martin who did return but decided on a shopping adventure instead. I hope all of these gentlemen found the bargains they were looking for!
Oh FFS!
Yes indeed coach, it may well have been a big case of Fun From Shopping, exactly!
In other news both Pittonet (17) and Daniher (46) are endeavouring to perform better next round.
On a lighter note both McLuggage (113) and McDonald (102) put in fantastic performances.
Wait, they're the only ones who scored over 100??
And we salute and learn from them, indeed!
I got massacred again, didn't I?
I...ahh....well...hmmm....yes. Yes you did. Completely and utterly demolished by the Lobsters.
I'm sorry, I'm trying to come up with something positive to say about the dismal result and failing badly..
Comments
Post a Comment