Bash for the Border round 8 - Surprise advice

I'm okay when it comes to working on cars. Thanks to a willingness to roll up the sleeves and give things a go, coupled with copious amounts of Googling and forum lurking, I recently sorted out an overheating issue and heavy fuel consumption drama in my Subaru.

For those problems beyond my understand or tool set, I consult a mechanic or if he's around, my father in law Baz. They know they're stuff and get me back on the road before I know it.

Likewise here in coaching - this season has proved without a shadow of a doubt, I'm completely out of my depth here. But thankfully some random Supercoach chat around the office netted me some timely advice. 

Enough to score a win? Perhaps, but let's not get too carried away..

MONDAY - THANKS TO THE HEDGEHOG

No not Ron Jeremy, the Tysonic Hedgehogs or more to the point their coach Tyson. Curious as to how I managed to get the lowest score last round even with a full team, he ran through the players and pointed out much that I'd missed. 

Like Ziebell for example:

Originally when I got him, he played DEF only. Over time the Kangaroos decided he was better up front and put him there instead only I had no idea and it's kind of hard to score defence points when you're on the forward line. 

Tyson's suggestion: Put him up front if I'm desperate. But yeah, he's wasted in defence. 

Then there's Penders...

Another dual role in MID and DEF. While Tyson suggests a DEF position for him, I'm reluctant to do this because he's one of my most rock solid efforts each week. Perhaps though if the team sheet puts him there this week...

And Danger..

Tyson: Danger should be back this week, put him back in. 

Then there's Daniher..

Tyson: I'm not sure how long he's going to be out for..

Same but he's not one of my high scorers so if a better option comes along... (he's on the bench for now) 

And finally Dusty..

While Tyson didn't say anything about him directly, I voiced out loud my hope that he would be back in action and he agreed he'd be a timely inclusion. So I've put him back in until told otherwise.

I've also made an offer on a new RUC in trade for Fiorini and tomorrow I may look to see who can bolster defence..

TUESDAY - I'VE BEEN LOBSTERED 🦞 

So being way way way down the ladder, putting in a waiver wire (so a trade before the trade window officially opens later in the week) should have given me first dibs on free agents. Tyson had suggested I go for Noah Anderson to add some grunt to the midline and so I put in that early trade..

...only to find out he ended up in the Lethal Lobsters, far higher up the ladder than me. How this works is anyone's guess but it means Fiorini hangs about for a little longer..

WEDNESDAY- TAKE THE GOOD AND BAD

So it's great news for me, it's great news for the Flavorless Flav's and it's what Richmond fans have been hanging out to hear - Dusty is back! In the news today he'll be back in action against Collingwood this week so it's back in the mix.

Not so great news for Daniher though, while he's escaping surgery, his should injury means he's out for at least another month. In response I have told him to take as much time as he needs to recover...while on the free agents list. Harsh I know but winning can't wait, so it's Danniher out and in..

Sam Switkowski

Represented by this fierce some beast (whoever they may be), Sam's had a fairly solid season so far. Nothing spectacular but like my Subaru, he just works. And with a better average currently than Close, he's now on the Forward line with a returning Dusty.

THURSDAY - NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS

Nothing's happened today and I'm very thankful for that. If we can just have today carry on til tom-

FRIDAY - REALLY?

Oh FFS!

Watching the news in the radio studio this morning, I saw that The Bont is now out for this round and given how much I rely on his skills and abilities, this is not great news at all even with Dusty back. So having just a bee's bit more of an average than Dunstan, Fiorini's now in the mid field in the Bont's place and I'm praying for a miracle here. 

Is also means honest Penders, hard working Penders, champion of champion Pendlebury wears the captains crown in this round. May he run riot with double the score now for round 8.
Oh and as Tyson pointed out, he's in DEF this round so I better put him where he shines. 

So there's been a bit of wrangling about, but I think this is going to work now...

Correction: I hope it's going to work now.

EDIT: Much later on - in the spirit of helpfulness coach Tyson takes another look and suggests Penders on the back line (which he is) and a swap for Fiorini. 

So sorry Fio, out you go and in your place: 

KHARNE THE BETRAYER!

Represented by: Andrew McGrath MID

Wait, I think I got that the wrong way round. Anywhoos, I didn't look at any stats apart from his AVG and it's better than Fi's was so trade done. 

Now that the final changes have been made, can team Flavorless Flav's topple Brand Power this round? Let's find out!

SO HOW DID ALL THIS HELPFUL ADVICE GO IN THE END?

Ahh, not well. 

In fact it kind of backfired and had me wondering if I should have changed anything at all. To go through the wash of the latest round we welcome back....um...(looks at list) oh seriously, you again?

Greetings coach Almigo and thank you for such a warm welcome, tis I Sensual Moonbeam, daughter of the moon and beloved of the sun and barer of the tidings back in episode 14 last year. 

The tides, the fates, the moon and the future all sent me here today to not only bestow upon you the blessings of our divine mother nature but to report on the results of your masterful team fresh from the bountiful weekend.

Well I don't know about masterful or bountiful here, but since we have no better alternative, off you go.

Firstly I shall share the tale of the players who decided to commune with mother nature instead of taking up arms and stepping onto the filed thusly. And they were: 

Stanley - Did not play

Dunstan - Did not play

Yes, feeling that everything was ship shape this round, I forgot to check some of the team lists. Had I done that, these two would have been on the bench because even low scores are better than no scores..

Fiorini had his best round ever in the latest clash. What a disappointment that you, upon friendly advice, swapped him for McGrath who scored a few points less. Like a cup of dandelion tea, only with no dandelions. 
Or a cup. 
Just tea. 
Served luke warm.
And no biscuit. 
  
Now Tyson did apologise for this suggestion across the weekend but in his defence, how were either of us to know he'd finally get his act together...when I cut him from the team?

The bells, the bells, they toll for Ziebell who had a terrible round up front, scoring just 31 points for the quarters four.

And I can see what's going to happen here a mile away - either I bench him or get rid of him and next week when he's not doing anything for my team, he'll romp it in. That's the way this game goes when I'm at the helm, not in any way shape or form like I want it to.
Also Sidebottom wasn't much chop at 33 either come to think of it..
And Franklin, another rubbish score at 37. What is going on here?

But in a burst of warm sunshine, McCluggage brought forth the blessings of the earth mother and a salute to father sun with 154 points. Captain Pendelbury brought forth 194 points. Hurn 129, McGovern 107 and the returning Dusty wowed the people, the people of this planet, with 83.

So I have some guns and I have some supposed guns and I have some complete duds. Unfortunately those last two are drowning the first because doing some quick maths, if Fiorini was still in and I had Fylnn in for Stanley...

...well I still couldn't have won anyway. 

RESULT: LOSS

Gah, well done Brandon. 
I think two thirds of this team need to consider their options..