Made by humans, to be read by humans

Once again Facebook in its wisdom has decided that what I need, what I really need to see when it comes to smacking my feed in the face with ads, is ones about tools that will write my blog for me. Or ten times faster. Or create copy and content so fresh, you'll headbutt the advertising on this page so hard it'll rain Ferrari's.

Because apparently this is the way of the future when it comes to little blogs such as mine, relying on software found through social media to do it all so I can lounge back and count my cryptos or something.  

Oh Facebook, if only you knew how so ridiculously ahead of the curb I am here when it comes to letting various robots and various AI attempt to write award winning rubbish to net me millions..

I mean they all seemed like good ideas at the time..

WHEN DEEP BLUE WAS HIRED TO WRITE ARTICLES HERE AT ALMIGO'S ADVENTURES

-It changed any mention of sport, to chess. AFL became chess, soccer became chess and even my random forays into writing about wrestling became stories about chess. If I wrote about taking the kids and the family dog down to the local park to throw a Frisbee then the park became a chess hall, the kids disappeared, the Frisbee became a chess set and somehow the dog morphed into Garry Kasperov.
And then lost the match in record time.  

-It changed all names in the blog to Garry Kasperov and then added in how it managed to beat him at chess, even if it had zero relevance to what the particular blog post was about. 

-All links to anything YouTube related was now redirected to this song by Murray Head.

-All advertising suddenly changed from Indian Dental Clinics and PDF software you couldn't live without to ads about IBM computers. Which is strange considering that back in 2005 IBM sold it's PC business to Lenovo. I guess either nobody told Deep Blue or it was too wrapped up in betting more chess masters to notice. 

WHEN SKYNET WAS HIRED TO WRITE ARTICLES HERE AT ALMIGO'S ADVENTURES

-Wouldn't let me post anything with a date after August 29th 1997 for some reason, arguing that no one would be around to read it. As long as I changed the date before that it didn't have a problem.

-Not only did it try to run this blog but also managed to install copies of itself in my phone, router and xBox One. However it got very annoyed with me when it discovered that neither my old LG TV, kettle or toaster had networking capabilities and insisted I rectify this immediately.  

-Kept asking me if I was Sarah Connor, John Connor or even knew anyone with the surname Connor in my life. When I asked it about fighter Connor McGregor, the system crashed in confusion. 

-Refused to show any ads for hydraulic presses or liquid nitrogen.

-Would constantly wake me at random hours with the threat 'come with me if you want to blog.'

WHEN GERTY WAS HIRED TO WRITE ARTICLES HERE AT ALMIGO'S ADVENTURES

-Was convinced I was a clone

-Tried to convince me that I was a clone

-Annoyingly cloned everything, repeatedly.

-Never stopped smiling the entire time while cloning everything, repeatedly.

WHEN THE ECU FROM MY 1991 TOYOTA SOARER WAS HIRED TO WRITE ARTICLES HERE AT ALMIGO'S ADVENTURES

-Refused to accept that there were any other cars available to write about other than ones from Toyota or Lexus and changed all the names of other cars to those brands. Unless of course it was an article pointing out how detrimental that particular make was, in which case the ECU would always change it to a '80's Mitsubishi Colt' or 'Hyundai Excel'.

-Always played this song while it worked and always at ear shattering levels. 

-Occasionally got so excited by what it wrote, it'd blow it's capacitors and I'd have to open it up and solder in some new ones. I'd like to say this was only while it blogged but most if not all Toyota Soarer owners have had to do this at one stage or another to stop it doing silly things.

-While I slept it would play all my PC driving games on my behalf. It would also sell anything in my virtual garage that it felt didn't need to be there. Naturally the next time I played it myself, I'd find nothing but oceans of Toyota made vehicles..

WHEN JOHNNY FIVE WAS HIRED TO WRITE ARTICLES HERE AT ALMIGO'S ADVENTURES

-Oh god was this a terrible idea. Let's just leave it at that and move on shall we?

WHEN HAL WAS HIRED TO WRITE ARTICLES HERE AT ALMIGO'S ADVENTURES

-In the brief time I used it, it never once got my name correct constantly referring to me as Dave.

-Only knew one song and unfortunately it wasn't Baby Got Back by Sir Mix-A-Lot

-Would randomly try to open all the doors around the house to let the heat out..

WHEN CHAPPIE WAS HIRED TO WRITE ARTICLES AND BLOG POSTS HERE AT ALMIGO'S ADVENTURES

-Continually insisted I was breaking the law but never specified which.

-Started rapping. 

-Honestly I'm not sure which of these two things was worse.. 

WHEN MARCO THE A.I FROM THE BOOK HACK FROST WAS HIRED TO WRITE ARTICLES HERE AT ALMIGO'S ADVENTURES

-Refused to write anything and ultimately didn't.

-Threatened to kill me for asking it to

-Tried to possess my Nissan Stagea and 'run over some people who deserve it'

-Kept asking about ice cream..

Yeah I think we'll keep the humanity here for some time after all this..