It's been a while since I had an offer to become InstaFamous. Or more closer to the point, gain thousands of additional followers by taking up a great offer through my email. Stefan from WeGrow tried a couple of times (and got some amusing replies in response) but now Brenda has decided that she can FIX my Instagram.
And here I was, blissfully unaware it was broken...
It was a stock standard Wednesday when I was looking for something completely unrelated to Instagram in my spam folder and came across this red hot offer:
Hey @almigov2!
My colleague Stephanie just found you on Instagram and loved your content! She passed me your details and told me to reach out to you!
My name is Brenda and I am in charge of finding new talent for our Instagram marketing agency. Similar accounts to yours are CRUSHING it on Instagram - from what I’ve seen, you could be doing even better than them!
Our US and Australian based team have been providing Instagram growth since 2017 and have helped over 12,500 clients reach their Instagram potential. In short, we are experts when it comes to Instagram.
We’re confident that we can help you grow another 10k - 15k real, targeted followers in 2022! Yes! REAL followers that ENGAGE. No fakes, no bots.
You can partner with us now for FREE at www.alremovedthelinkhere.com and start growing today! Watch our setup video for a clearer idea of how it all works!
We choose who we reach out to carefully and take on a limited number of clients at a time to ensure high quality results - if this interests you, try it for free now before spots close.
If you don’t like our service, cancel at any time - there’s zero risk. We know you’ll love it!
If you have any questions, feel free to contact us at www.ohbloodyhellhesremovedthelinkagain.com
Kind regards,
Hey @almigov2!
My colleague Stephanie just found you on Instagram and loved your content! She passed me your details and told me to reach out to you!
My name is Brenda and I am in charge of finding new talent for our Instagram marketing agency. Similar accounts to yours are CRUSHING it on Instagram - from what I’ve seen, you could be doing even better than them!
Our US and Australian based team have been providing Instagram growth since 2017 and have helped over 12,500 clients reach their Instagram potential. In short, we are experts when it comes to Instagram.
We’re confident that we can help you grow another 10k - 15k real, targeted followers in 2022! Yes! REAL followers that ENGAGE. No fakes, no bots.
You can partner with us now for FREE at www.alremovedthelinkhere.com and start growing today! Watch our setup video for a clearer idea of how it all works!
We choose who we reach out to carefully and take on a limited number of clients at a time to ensure high quality results - if this interests you, try it for free now before spots close.
If you don’t like our service, cancel at any time - there’s zero risk. We know you’ll love it!
If you have any questions, feel free to contact us at www.ohbloodyhellhesremovedthelinkagain.com
Kind regards,
Brenda
I've never met Brenda (or Stephanie for that matter) but I can only assume she looks something like this, when looking through my Instagram where I'm obviously crushing it beyond belief:
Dear Brenda,
Firstly, thank you for the most excellent email. Why it ended up straight in my spam folder and buried itself under hundreds of offers to make me a better lover, extend my manhood to epic proportions and become a billionaire twice over thanks to Crypto is anyone's guess but the fact of the matter is, I'm reading it now. And please pass on my thanks to your good pal Stephanie - obviously she must have been on the back of a truly wondrous week long and possible illicit substance bender to think my profile was crushing anything other than a teeny tiny hole in the grand space of the internets but the sentiment warmed the slightly less warm parts of my already room temperature heart.
Brenda, I feel like I have to be completely transparent with you - boosting my account would be like getting Covid and the T-Virus drunk together in a hotel room, putting on some Barry White and then locking the doors behind you. The world simply isn't ready for that level of brain melting magnitude, like a pizza within a pizza or Jennifer Connoly doing a live rendition of Macarthur Park to a packed rabid crowd MCG. Heads will blow, countries will topple, things will sink into the sea. Do you really think the world needs that after all it's gone through already?
I mean undoubtedly you will continue to ask, sending out the same shotgun scattered approach that ended up in my spam filter here, possibly with the exact same bulk distributed email, maybe with a changed name though. Stephanie might become Shane for example or some non-binary name like Anarchronixbutterstix. 'My colleague Anarchronixbutterstix just found you on Instagram and absorbed your content in a truly platonic way.' But I need to tell you, no matter how many times you ask or even how you ask, the answer is no. I'm good, you keep being you (and maybe take me off your lists, cheers.)
I gotta go now, I'm working on posting up another failure my cheap 3d printer has coughed up. Undoubtedly this will send good pal Stephanie into an absolute frothy fan fury and she'll be on your case to recruit me into your Instalumanti for the 45th time this week but I'll have to pass.
Take care
-AlmigoV2
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