Sunday, July 29, 2018

I've heard your pitch. Please stop now.

I took my son on a birthday shopping spree yesterday to find things to buy with the money from relations. In the process of looking for books, I managed to meet the world's most infuriating sales person.

*Yes, roughly the same level on the 'Please stop trying to sell me that' table as Leon the Samsung kid. 

For legal reasons, all I can say about the location is it was where books are sold.

Having found a kids atlas, a book on deconstructing a Minecraft castle and one about dinosaurs I proceeded to the counter where I met Miss Overhappy Buythis book. The conversation went a little like this:

(Filling in for the crazy bookseller today is Jan the Toyota salesperson and in place of my good self, a confused looking CM Punk.)

'Oh hay, you want to buy those books? Well sure let me tally them up for you.'

'Thank you.'

'You've got lots of stuff to read here and qualify for the free poster! Yes a free poster! How lucky are you?'

 'Ahh okay.'

'Now I see that you've bought some kids books today, what about something for the adults? I tell you, you're going to love this one! *points at a small pile of a particular book on the counter* It is such a mystery, do you like mysteries?'

'Er...not really my style.'

'Not your style? Well okay! The story goes that this woman has to investigate her own family because she thinks she might not belong to them! How crazy is that? I know right!'

'I guess..'

'You should tell anyone in your life that loves mysteries, they should read this one. They are going to love it! Now, let me put your books in a bag and you are set to go!'

'Okay thank you.'

'Don't forget, this mystery book is here and it is so good!'

Are book shop workers now on commission to push mysteries now? I don't remember what book it was, nor who wrote it nor the front cover. I think as soon as she said the words 'mystery' my brain clicked off.
I especially liked the part right after I told her that mysteries weren't my style of read when she told me what it was all about anyway.

It's like driving into a car yard in a Lamborghini and the sales guy sees it and tries to sell you a people mover. Anything with more than two seats not your style? Well you're going to love this seats 8! Yes 8 whole people! Tell your people moving loving friends!

Can't wait to fill up with premium and the guy at the petrol station persuades me to fill it with diesel instead..


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