About this weekend's golfing trip...

 Dear valued investor, just a reminder of the annual company golf trip this weekend...

....where we can't wait to host you for two days of amazing golf, top food and wine and plenty of celebrity appearances! In fact in some amazing news, each team will be joined by a famous celebrity! (I can't wait to reveal who is playing with who!)

The flights and rooms are booked and you should be receiving your tickets and booking details shortly. All of the team here can't wait to see you in action and we all have our fingers crossed for glorious weather!

Stay tuned for our next exciting update!

-Your humbly chosen CEO

P.S Thank you for all the messages about the share price dipping recently but I'm sure that's nothing to worry about, just a little turn and we'll be back to where we need to be in no time!

Dear valued investor,

Firstly thank you for your emails of concern about the share price continuing to drop and asking for my plan in righting this ship. Again let me reassure you that it's the market just going through a slight correction and nothing to worry about. I certainly wouldn't put any stock in the rumors of out of control company spending. 

On a much lighter note, our first prize for the golfing weekend has arrived, a Maybach personally signed by hip hop superstar Ja Rule! Second prize is a signed picture, runners up score his best of album!

Bring your best swing!

-Your humbly chosen CEO

Dear valued investor,

It seems the turn of company stock from fall to rise is taking a bit of time but while we wait (and to keep those who have emailed me with their concerns happy) I have cut back on just a couple of minor details to this weekend's golf game, just to save a smidgen.

The team that was to have Fred Durst as their celebrity tag along will now have a different Fred, in Fred Savage.

The complimentary bottle of French champagne in each of your rooms has now been downgraded to a bottle of sparkling house white. 

The rest of our wonderful weekend, our special thank you for all your time and interest in our company will go ahead just as planned and we can't wait!

-Your humbly chosen CEO

Dear valued investor,

Look I don't like to use the words 'alarming' when it comes to the share price this afternoon, I mean I'd call it more of a significant drop but certainly not alarming, not in the classical sense of the word. 

And while I have appreciated some emails asking for the upcoming golf weekend to be cancelled due to costs, let me reassure you once again that I've looked over everything we've planned over the two days and I've made a few cuts to help soothe the nerves of those who feel we may have over extended ourselves financially.

-The bikini models we've hired to drive the golf carts around will now serve the drinks too cutting down on wait staff.

-The pool at the resort won't have champagne in it as originally planned, we're reverting to sparkling house white.

-The team that was going to have Franz Ferdinand as their celebrity guest will now have Fran Drescher as a replacement.

-There will be one less olive in each 'Welcome pack' martini.

Anyway, looking forward to seeing you all and of course the all you can eat sushi off a naked lady lunch!

-Your humbly chosen CEO

Dear valued investor,

Yes I agree, that's another massive drop. But we're working on it and cutting back costs by halving the weekend from two days to one. Yes that means unfortunately we'll have no time to do the clay shooting with all of those wonderful plates we bought from Antiques roadshow but you'll be happy to hear that the Win a Racehorse raffle will still go ahead as expected!

Also Pauly Shore has informed us he won't be able to make it. Whichever team had him as their celebrity will now take home a copy of Encino Man on DVD.

-Your humbly chosen CEO

Dear valued investor,

Thanks for not panic selling like the rest of the market seems to be obsessed with this morning causing our price to plummet even further. Just hang in there friend, we'll be back on our feet in no time!

Just a couple more slight tweaks to the weekend (NOTHING MAJOR!)

-We're doing away with the carts to save money and the environment. This means you may have to carry your celebrities clubs. 

-We're kicking things off with a BBQ breakfast instead of the continental feast. We'll also be wheeling out the BBQ come lunch time and all going well, we'll be barbecuing up a storm come dinner time! Hope you bring your appetite!

-To compliment the pure outdoor feel of this grand day, that's where we're moving our accommodation to. Outside. In tents. Let me assure you, they're top quality five star tents too!

-Sadly Kylie Minogue as our half time entertainment is no longer available. However we have wrangled a bargain priced deal with 80's superstars J J Fad! Bring the beat back! Word!

Also I read there may be rain on the day. Let's hope not!

See you there!

-Your chosen CEO

Dear investor,

Okay yes, I'll admit it's a share price bloodbath. Apologies but you may have to organize your own transport to the golf course because of this. And possibly pay your own greens fees, we'll see.

Also the Mexican wrestlers are no longer a thing. To be honest I can't remember why we booked them in the first place. 

But Tom Selleck is still keen to make an appearance!

See you on Saturday

-Your CEO

Dear investor,

If you haven't read the news yet, our company set a record! Sadly it was for the biggest price drop share wise over night but that's probably more the markets and covid and other factors and certainly not anything we're doing obviously.

Anyway the golf day is off but some of the staff are doing a 'home made sausage roll and frisbee' afternoon at the local park if you're interested. Just let us know.

Also no, I do not know anything about any missing funds or what happened to the Maybach and Ja Rule merch. And I can't come in on Monday for that meeting you've called for because I just resigned.

Anyway thanks for having me and see you at the park (maybe) 

-Me the former CEO