Dear Facebook, please remove this stupid button

Dear Facebook (and also Gumtree, you're also guilty of this one too),

Please remove the 'Is it still available button' on anything and everything people could possibly think of selling through your marketplace. 

No it's not broken, it's just the most annoying button in the world and it's time to go. 

Because usually with just 5 minutes of something I'm selling being listed on Facebook, someone pops up and hammers the button that asks on their behalf 'Is this still available.' 

Look I know a lot can happen in five minutes but seriously, did you think this old desk from the 90's would be in such overwhelming demand that thousands would flock to it and attempt to buy it within the first five minutes alone and you've just missed out?

'It's been five minutes now, he's probably sold that desk. At least three times by now.'

Of course to try and ease up on my Facebook messenger getting blown up with only 'is it still available' and nothing else messages, I usually put something at the bottom of the ad that says 'If you can read this, it's still available.'

And then of course cue the people who don't read all the details and smash that button anyway. 

Part two of this problem is when you respond and point out that yes it is still available, no it hasn't just been swept away in a flood, no my house hasn't been swamped by a horde of buyers with cash in hand, yes it's still here. Like it was five minutes ago. You explain (without swearing) that it's more than available currently...

...and you never hear from them ever again.

'So I asked him "Is it still available?" And he said yes! And so I celebrated with a quick trip to the pub and got smashed. Anyway how was your day?'
 

Now it's not always the case that they immediately turn into ghosts as soon as they read my answer. I messaged one woman back that my car was still for sale, yes.

'How much?'

Seriously? It's right there in the ad. Which I pointed out to her. Then she turned into a ghost.

(Don't get me started on Facebook Marketplace Cars either. No matter how many times I wrote the words 'No swaps' I'd get everything offered under the sun. Also the words 'no registration, no rwc' will always lead to the idiotic question 'So is it registered?' every time. You have been warned. That's here in Australia, I can only imagine it's equally as bad all over the world like Facebook Marketplace Boise, Facebook Marketplace Omaha and undoubtedly Facebook Marketplace Madagascar.)

WHILE WE'RE HERE, LETS SEND SOME SHOUT OUTS.

Random  Rob - Agreed to buy my mirror, got my address and asked he could pop around in the morning on the next day to pick it up. I responded that I was working but happy to leave it out for him and he could leave my ten dollars in the mailbox. Waited two days for an answer but Rob had turned into a silent spirit so I sold it to someone else who arrived 20 minutes later and was very happy with his bargain mirror.

Deskless Doreen - 'Would this desk fit in the back seat of my car?' Seriously? A full sized computer desk? When was the last time anyone fitted something like that into a back seat? I suggested that unless she had a 70's Cadillac then no, maybe turn up in a ute or wagon like the add suggested.

Hot and Cold Bookcase Betty - Betty wanted both the bookcases I was selling but I had a buyer lined up for one of them. Okay, keen on the other but let me know if the other buyer doesn't want it. Well other buyer did buy one of the bookcases and all of a sudden Betty wasn't interested in what was left. Was this a cunning ploy on the original bookcase I'm not understanding here?

Distance Dennis - 'I've only got fifties' a buyer told my wife, opening up a wallet full of said fifties. 'Can I have this item for $50 since I drove all this way to get it?' No Dennis, you can't.
A) You agreed to 60 and
B) You wanted this so bad, you jumped in the car for it. It's not our fault you couldn't find it locally.
For the record, he paid 60. If he didn't she would have sold it to the three other local people keen on it.

Mower Mal - I'm selling a dead mower for parts and even though it doesn't start, people are still stupidly keen on it for parts. Especially Mower Mal who got annoyed when I explained he wasn't first in line. 'What time is he picking it up?' he messaged back within minutes. This morning he asked for my address 'Just in case.'
No you mower loving nutter, just no.

The shoe rack society - shoe racks, not the most exciting thing in the world are they? And yet the one we're selling on Facebook has gone nuts. Even with SOLD PENDING PICKUP in the ad three times, people still ask if they can buy it and grab it now. 'Can I be next in line for it?' That line is now ten people long, all for a shoe rack. I don't understand at all..

Vanishing Victor - Still related to the mower above, Victor was super keen on it but failed to show up. So I reminded him and after telling me how much he wanted it, he failed to show, again. So onto the next buyer who was spamming me with messages and was ready to come round and grab it...only to discover it wasn't one with alloy base (its pressed steel apparently) so he's out, something something rust. I'd leave it on the side of the road with a free sign on it but that would just lead to another fiasco along the lines of the recent BBQ incident..

All the Cashless Carls - When I buy cars my first question is not 'what's the cheapest you'll do?', it'll be a question on history, condition, when can I come around for a look, tell me about this, tell me about that etc. But with the wagon up for sale, that's what I'm getting. 'What's the lowest?' or 'Keen to swap for this <INSERT SOME RANDOM CAR HERE>' when the ad clearly states no swaps. Chatting about this to my great neighbour Ash across the road he pointed out that if they really wanted it, they'd ask questions. About it. Seems he too has copped a few Cashless Carls in his time.

Sigh. Anyone want to buy a computer desk or a Nissan Wagon?