After the shemozzle of round one, I held a press conference to explain the situation. Unfortunately Disco was completely unaware of it and forgot to tell the media. So it was just me answering to myself in an empty room but I made sure I got hit with some very difficult questions and promising to plug the holes in a pretty leaky boat.
I think I almost convinced myself too.
TEAM UPDATE
STILL INJURED UNTIL I CAN REPLACE PARTS OF THEM WITH CYBERNETICS
Houli - Calf
Cotchin - Gastro
McDonald - Quad
MIGHT WILL BE WATCHING THE NEXT FEW GAMES DUE TO SUSPENSION
Dangerfield
________________________________________________________________________________
MEH MONDAY
Not entirely convinced I have my assistant Disco's full and undivided attention when it comes to last minute changes and a battle plan for each week that doesn't involve spontaneous 70's dancing, I have also enlisted the help of WWF's on Mantaur to help me out.
Thanks so much for having me on board coach, I promise to do some solid work here in not only assisting you but also inspiring the great team you've assembled to rise to even greater heights than I ever did!
Yeah, sounds great. Your desk is over there Minotaur.
Actually I think you'll find coach it's actually pronounced 'Man- oh never mind, I'll just go and disinfect Cotchin's part of the change room shall I?
Yeah you do that.
After he wandered off in his bull costume, I got to shuffling the deck chairs on team Titanic and noticed the first problem for the week, namely I can't swap McDonald out for someone less injured because until Bachar comes good, I've got a stunning lack of fresh defenders.
(While McDonald hasn't landed on the officially injured list yet, I'm not confident in him not Kevin Nashing his quad again minutes before game time in this next round and so I'll be hoping either Bachar drinks a healing potion in time or I can trade him out. Then I'll have to work out what I can get for Dangerfield because his suspension could prove to be costly...)
Hey boss, who's the strange bull guy mooing away and hosing down the change room? Are you punishing Dangerfield by making him wear that strange costume?
Quiet Disco, I'm formulating a battle plan here..
TOASTIE TUESDAY
I kid you not, at work today we're having toasted sandwich Tuesday. Which is a perfect partner for the wet and miserable weather we're currently experiencing. However long before lunch, during coffee and oats breakfast I was pouring over the free agent list trying to work out the best of the best out of the rest that were left and who I could swap for McDonald who got injured last second and Jack Martin who wasn't even picked to play in the first place.
Now part of TEAM ALMIGO lineup:
TIM MEMBREY (ST KILDA) FWD
Have I ever heard of them: Look I'm not even going to pretend I have but I have the utmost confidence in his abilities.
Represented by WCW superstar: Konan
Notes: 108 points last week which means I've subbed him in over Lambert (the curse of the Dusty shadow) and being the only St Kilda player in my lineup, I'll finally give a care when then play this season.
JAKE LEVER (MELBOURNE) DEF
Have I ever heard of them: That's a negative folks.
Represented by WCW superstar: Booty Man!
Notes: In equal class, no wins yet but placed twice in last five starts. No wait, sorry I was reading the form of a horse called Whispering Wind running in the US today. No last week Jake Defended the Wall from the Wildlings to a staggering 129. If he does the same again this weekend, I'll be beyond excited.
Boss, I've organized a feast to bid both Martin and McDonald a fond farewell. It's only fitting for these fine warriors.
However he made the mistake of leaving the catering side to Disco and all they got was half a cheese sandwich and a small cup of lukewarm cordial, served in an empty bingo hall. We wish them both the best for their future endeavors.
(I sure hope Dangerfield likes sandwiches, depending on tonight he could be the next on the chopping block!)
LATER THAT NIGHT...
Sigh, Dangerfield cops a big smack from the AFL Tribunal for the Canadian Destroyer and eats a 3 match ban. This simply won't do as I'm not waiting that long for him to get back on the ground. So on his way back to the car from the tribunal hearing, I made some calls. And by the time he opened up his Toyota Echo, I already had Mantaur send his replacement a welcome bottle of sparkling chardonnay...
Out: Dangerfield
In: Errol Gulden (Sydney) MID
Have I ever heard of them: Oh god no!
Represented by WCW superstar: The Genius
Notes: DEX of 18, CON of 19 and knows the spells score high and get past this then! Very solid defender who can do a great impression of the Great Wall of China and more than fills the gap of the vacating Dangerfield.
Three new players in the space of one day? Better hope no one else gets injured/banned anytime soon!
WISHFUL WEDNESDAY
It's a quiet one today while we countdown to the first match tomorrow night where we unleash Team Mk2. Although on closer inspection we only have Pendlebury floating around in the opening clash, most of the action happens on the weekend.
The highlight of today is that I've finally bought enough coffee's at the local cafe to score a free one. Cotchin sees me drinking it and complains that they only have a tin of International Roast in the team kitchen. I point out that with Gastro, coffee is probably the last thing he should be drinking...
SHOWTIME THURSDAY
Please football gods, for the love of the game can we please have nothing go wrong today and across the weekend? Just this onc-
Boss, it looks like Vlastuin has done his knee and is subject to a fitness test before he can play...
FFS What? But no, he was right. While Pendlebury has been greenlighted to play in the clash tonight, Vlastuin now sports an injury warning.
What the hell are my team doing during their downtime?? Actually I probably shouldn't be asking that..
With a stunning lack of DEF players riding the pine bench wise, all I can do is wait. It's not like I can just swap him out with a free agent....oh wait, yes I can.
Sorry Vlastuin.
(If it's any consolation, you're being subbed out with another Richmond player..)
In: Noah Balta (Richmond) DEF
Have I ever heard of them: I have not.
Represented by WCW superstar: Buff 'The Stuff' Bagwell
Notes: Has 42% more defenseanisms than Nick did. Sure I made up the word but a strong set of defenseanisms will be key to slowing down my opponents attackenisms.
Speaking of my opponent, this week it's Matt's Crows stepping up to the plate and trying to hold me down in last place. Good luck Matt!
Finally it seems I've caused a minor outrage by dropping Dangerous Dangerfield like a hot potato. My opponent from last week Tim scooped him up and Brandon is a little dismayed with the realization that I wasn't joking when I said I was trading him but it would be expensive.
I take my fantasy sports team booking very seriously damnit!
Onto the games!
COLLINGWOOD V CARLTON
As the only player in this match flying the flag for team Migo, Pendlebury laces up the boots and starts this round off with a very decent 111 points. Top work Crowbar! I mean Scotty..
FUGLY FRIDAY
BRISBANE VS GEELONG
Hugh M does okay with 86, Zorko takes an Uber to struggle street and manages 64 while someone manages to tie McInerney's laces together and by the time he undoes the triple knot, he's only managed to eek out 45 points.
On the other side however my only Cats player Henderson decides he truly is a one man band and performs a great 102 points. If we have a Coles mudcake at the end of the round then he's getting a decent slice.
SLAM IT DOWN SATURDAY
SYDNEY VS ADELAIDE
You know those company memos where someone beloved leaves and in their exit, there's now a 'big pair of shoes left to fill?'
I'm sure that's what the others in this league were thinking when I dropped Dangerfield like a overcooked potato bought after too many pints at the Cricketers Arms earlier this week.
If that's the case then Errol has read that memo, printed it, scrunched it up and stuffed it into said big shoes and then doused the entire thing shoes and all in petrol and then set it alight.
136 points in his first game for me.
Danger who?
(On the other side Lynch scores 50. Ho hum.)
ST KILDA VS MELBOURNE
Strangely my two new guns Lever and Membrey have an attack of the nerves and only cough up 53 and 60 respectively. Ugh, maybe you need a week to warm up?
GOLD COAST SUNS VS NORTH MELBOURNE
Hugh 2 (or is it 1? I forget which is which) bags an impressive 79 points and gets to keep his badly spray painted locker for another week.
SUNDAY SLUGFEST
RICHMOND VS HAWTHORNE
Dangerous Dusty walks out in a cowboy hat and proceeds to lay waste to everything around him, hauling in a lovely 120 points. Prestia (98) and Balta (90) back him up superbly and even though Cotchin was cleared to play and selected, I still had him on the bench, wondering if I should swap him with Balta.
However Balta scored more and so that was the right decision. Go me!
The Tigers have also helped pushed me ahead of points against Matt's Crows for the first time all weekend! But with only 1 player on my side left to play and 4 for him, this advantage could be short lived..
And it is!
BULLDOGS VS WEST COAST
As our last man standing, Hurn straps on the armor, picks up the trident and goes out and smashes things into submission for a staggering 117 points, the third highest score of my team this round. Women cheer, men weep, babies are not thankfully thrown in the air.
However, Matt still wins overall by 116 points. Still, it's not a drubbing of 300+ points like last round so things are definitely on the improve! Even better news though?
We're up to 7th place now! Crawling up the ladder one round at a time baby!
FOR THE NEXT ROUND
So I have a semi decent team and a full playing field and aside from Baschar's dodgy ankle, things are looking alright. The ship is back on course but can we avoid any and all icebergs on our slow voyage to the top of the league ladder?
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