Congratulations and disbelief. It's been a world of mixed emotions in the office over the last couple of days as Matt tucks into some humble pie after losing last round while Tyson gets excited by my victory and Tim explains the feeling in a sentence I really can't use here.
But you're only as good as your next round and something tells me I'm in for a fair challenge again as we take on the Marlon Brando's for the second time..
Last time we clashed? Round 3 where the taste of defeat was bitter and lingering and not even in a fun home brew experiment type of way either.
Since then he's made a few changes and I've made a lot of changes. A lot. Enough to effect a win this round? Well that remains to be seen - what I will have to address though is the disturbing trend starting to appear bench side.
And that is the increasing number of DOES NOT PERFORM, sorry DID NOT PLAY. Players that weren't selected to play in the last round for reasons ranging from injury to...uh...other reasons.
Hurn's calf injury has rubbed him out of the last five games (and clever me had no idea it was that bad.)
Gulden has a stress reaction in his foot and I've read won't be back in action...until the Round 14 bye! WTH?
Edwards has an ankle injury but should be back in a week. Still, it's not great that I don't have any spare midfielders to shuffle in should any of my current lineup falls over/cops some kind of leg injury like everyone else seems to be enjoying currently.
Thankfully unlike quality Forwards on the free markets, top of the free agent list is quite a good mid catch, one David Swallow. Not only does he have a very nice average, but it's better than Sheed's currently!
So sorry Gulden, back on the free agent list you go. Sheed spends some time on the bench and joining the mighty Midfield:
DAVID SWALLOW - MID - GOLD COAST
Represented by (hilariously) WCW star: Nasty Ned (Who???)
Notes: With Ned, sorry Davo joining the midfield there's now three of The Gold Coast Suns in action (Swallow, Greenwood and Ellis), all fairly close in averages. Can the GC Triple Threat strengthen the already pretty decent midline? Let's find out!
I have organized a 'we wish you well in your future endeavors' basket for Gulden. There's a couple of rounds of sandwiches with the crust cut off, a flask of iced coffee and a copy of my latest book : 'My life as a bull, a mooving tale.'
Er...thanks. I think.
Wow, it's Friday already.
Boss, how have you managed to go all week without mentioning once that Tim has tried AGAIN to woo one of your players away with a mediocre offer..
Oh yes, I clean forgot. Once again he's got his sights set on one Zorko.
I forget exactly who he wanted to trade the Zorkinator for but his opening pitch was 'This guy I'm willing to let go of has slightly better stats than Zorko!'
Which led me to ask why you'd bother trading your Ferrari for a Toyota but he said something about needing more power up front and please, could I find it in my heart to let the Z man go in trade for the unknown midfielder?
No, no I could not. Cold as ice, merciless as a coach and I really don't need another mid guy. Go away Tim, I've got another round to win!
Right, that's another weekend done, how did we go?
Well, to find out how the team fared, I guess it's over to the Fartbox..
Sorry boss, but Freddie Fartmonger isn't available today. We...uh...had a little argument and he cracked the shits. He thought Fart coin was a better investment than Bull coin when it came to Cryptocurrency and when I brought out my pretty impressive collection of graphs, he stormed off and locked himself in his room.
Well not that I'm complaining really, but does that mean his grandad is doing the post match report again?
Nope, even better! All the way from Vladasputa may I present this weeks special guest analysis man, former captain of the legendary Vladasputa Tunnel Carvers - Shiggsy Circusdwell!
Wait, what?
Hello fine ladies reading this blog of much excitement! Yes is true, Shiggsy here for you and open for plans of the involvement of dinner, sensual of the massaging and taxi called at end of night, you call now. Thanks to bull man for inviting me here in fine country to watch strange game of 'kick ball and try not to kick other player'. I wrote done many note, you sit back while I be relaying them to you.
Oh ffs, really?? He's the best you could find on short notice?
Here is farm splendid blog owner, you relax it yes? Firstly we be starting with the worst and then we be looking at glorious of best yes? Worst performer of week is well done to new recruit McCarthy who remind me much of Tuna Chunk surprise at Vladasputa airport - like working aircraft, there also isn't any tuna chunk there! He show up and be cheering on team like pretty US cheerleader with many poms but do little else and get just 42 of the precious points.
On other limb however, Dale who be belonging to teams of Bulls and Dogs remind me of time when Hugo Sneakavitch bring painted war horse to local dog fight. What you feed him? I take two can. He come out, he smash ball around, ladies and the men go the wild, he make record 152. That be Tunnel Carver material, glorious!
 |
| Dale to the rescue! |
Yeah I'm not sure what happened here either but he had a phenomenal round pulling in 1.5 points per minute he was on ground.
Other names I be writing down in between flagons of many fine beers while watching at local drinking venue:
Dawson - He take big sip of champion juice like Dale and kicking 145
Zorko - Fun fact: In Vladasputa 'Zorko' is slang term for man who like to steal pan for frying. 117 pointinskis from him!
McCluggage - He show up and gods bless him with bounty of the points, ha take 116 you fine player!
Pendlebury - What happen? He look strong like concrete bassinet but game come and he found to be of the sleeping! 43 dippitys scored here.
Jiath - 'What? I play game?' He say 'I want to be trying Sega Master System instead!' And with attitude consisting of that thing, him only bring bacon of 55. For shame of team.
But while that be happening on team side, on other side of opponent, many many player be hit by the 'boo hoo' train. Salem, Witherden and the Hogan make decision last minute 'Ooooh, Team Almigo be too much of the scary! We flap flag of white!'
I don't think it quite happened like that...more they pulled out last minute due to unforeseen circumstances much to Brandon's chagrin.
In end, 14 mighty warriors on Team Migo side take on just 12 and in dusty battle, bring home glory of 1312 points!'We do better!' Yell team Brandon but no, is all lies. Like Forkesh Dola's claim of massive manhood in Vladasputa 'Biggest man' competition at Jessup Bakery on Smith Street last yeah, it fell much short.
1281 points to create loss and another win for Team Almigo! Ladies, I celebrate back in nice hotel that man who is more bull than man line up for me. Room 13, door is open, please form line that is orderly!
Thank you Shiggsy! Yeah I bragged a bit earlier on team chat last night, thinking I had the highest score of anyone all round! However not all scores had been tallied, meaning I ended up with the 4th highest score instead. Whoops!
Still, a victory is a victory and as much as Brandon doesn't want to talk about it (something about disappointing players dropping out last minute) that's another addition to the win column.
We're still seventh on the ladder currently but on the climb.
Watch out kids, Team Migo has found some form again...
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