The Coach with the Most! Ep 13: Oh god, it's that N'Sync song time..

Matt tries to shame me in losing the last round to Cripaaa until I point out that he was also in the loser circle this week and he should get on his bike (which was conveniently right next to him while we chatted.) Also I need to reshuffle the deck and given how unpredictable my team has been as of late, I'm not sure if this is going to work in my favor or not..

Yes welcome to bye round, where some teams are taking a break. This week we won't be getting any points whatsoever from the following clubs as they take a well earned weekend off: 

Having been prewarned by the rest of the playing group that it was coming, I'm also being reminded by my assistants who have been working their way through that god awful NSync tune daily:

I'm doing this tonight
You're probably gonna start a fight
I know this can't be right

Hey baby come on
I loved you endlessly
When you weren't there for me
So now it's time to leave and make it alone

I know that I can't take no more
It ain't no lie
I want to see you out that door
Baby bye bye bye

They should change the lyrics to FART, FART, FART! Heh.

Thanks for the earworm you lazy bunch of degenerates. Anyway the point is, currently anyone with a blue dot on my field currently will not be playing this round.

And since no one in the playing group is actually clear on what happens score wise during bye rounds in this game (is it based on all bye rounds? Are we supposed to create the best field we can with who is available each weekend? Is it perceived as a normal round even with teams away??) I'm not exactly sure how to play this. There are three bye rounds to chew through, but do we have enough different team players to shuffle through this successfully? 

With Jiath on the bench already, I just have to work out what happens with 3/5ths of my strong midfield. 

So: 

Sheed comes on for Greenwood

Edwards subs in for Swallow, although he's not concrete on playing this weekend according to the Tigers Facebook page: 

Shane Edwards, ankle, probable
"Shane has had a great last seven days. He had a session last Friday in Melbourne and then again Sunday, which were fantastic. He came up (to Sydney) on Sunday, and he has done a training session today, which has gone really well.
"We are in a position Thursday where he might be training with the group, and if that is the case, we think he will be probable for this weekend."

And since Duryea can't fit anywhere currently, it's time to say goodbye and enlist a mate of McCluggage to sub in for Ellis. (It's only after I make the trade that I realise Allir also isn't playing this week, clever me...) So introducing: 

MITCH ROBINSON (MID) BRISBANE

Represented by WCW's: Zero

I'm vague on Mitch and even vaguer on Zero there so this should work well. The good thing is, with Robinson now lining up in the middle, it's only Allir up back I need to worry about now. 

The only person I could trade left? Hickey. And I'm going to need him for when my only other RUC in Nankervis takes a bye next round. So unfortunately I may have to run with a man short Aliir spends some time as a free agent and we bring in yet another Tiger! (Sorry Aliir..)

NATHAN BROAD (DEF) RICHMOND

Oh god, it's Hulk Hogan Lite! But Nathan has shown some flashes of brilliance as of late and I'm hoping when the tigers play the Bombers this round, that'll happen again. Thankfully we're now playing with a full deck of cards!

Boss your opponent this week is Wortdogsquad, do you think we should take a look and see if they've made some major changes like you have?

Not too shabby an idea there cow man! Hopefully when we load up his team, it'll be plagued with blue dots..

Er no...he has moved his non playing players to the bench. However currently he's a couple short on the field in comparison. We might take this one out if we're lucky!

Frantic swap Friday

It's a busy day in the workplace today - no, no actual work is being done, everyone's busy raiding the free agent list to sport a full or near enough full team this weekend. There's more trading than a hyperactive day at the stock exchange. Which makes me very happy I did this yesterday because god only knows what awful players would be left if I had left it until now. 

Sadly even though it is Wortdogsquads last day in the office today, he's still done some wrangling himself and now he's only one player short rather than two. At this early stage, Modok is still tipping victory coming my way so that's something.

At this stage I predict you will win with a projected score of 1313.

Dogsquad will only score a combined 1229.

Bitcoin will also crash, again soon enough.

Also your bank account will be empty by Sunday night and payday isn't until Thursday.

All hail Modok, genius computer.

Well that's a little more than I asked for, but thanks! Fingers crossed there evil computer!

So how did we go?

For a pretty rough wrap up on the weekends shenanigans, here's Freddie Fartchamber.

Sorry boss, I just realised that Freddie's contract is now up and so we've sent him on his way with a sausage roll and a report card that was C average across the board. He's expressed an interest to come back but I've told him not to call us, we'll call him...

Oh thank god! Brilliant news! But who have we got to do the post match report this time? It's not Shiggsy again is it? I'm still trying to work out what he was rambling on about last time..

All good boss! When Wallstreet told me we'd need a replacement asap I made some callers and you'll never guess who I managed to land! Yes, the 1982 North Hampshire Wheat Farmer of the year, Burt Hemmings! Over to you Burt!

Wait, what? 

Thanks hard working farm animal, toil such as yours in imperative for a farm to really work and not a day goes by that we don't thank you for your effort, effort mirrored by hard working wheat. Wheat truly is the backbone of our nation, our economy and the future of our children. And you know who is the wheat in Team Almigo?

Zorko is wheat. Sturdy, dependable and he weathers all weather. He stood tall in this weekend's rain fall with a solid 122 points. It's not his best but he's there, standing proud, like wheat should. You walk out into a full field of Zorko and there's this sense or pride swelling up in your overalls. You think to yourself 'Yeah it's good to have you on board son, together we're keeping the dream alive!'

Sorry, what exactly is he talking about here??

Someone who landed in my disappointing chaff column this week is Broad, who practically wilted under the sun's mighty gaze. 38 points? You're letting this farm down son and an unproductive farm slows a country down mightily. How disappointed will those kids be when there's no wheat for their breads and cereals?

Lever? You're a stuck level on the tractor of life, stuck in first gear and creating more work for everyone with just 44 points. 
McCarthy, you're a sleeping farm dog when there's work to be done. Up and at em boy! 

 

F##k me sideways, what is this?

But as disappointing as some of this team was, over the road they took on a crop that was barely irrigated! Three, count them, three farm hands failed to show when there was work to be done! McCay scored just 5! I mean come on, you don't get to be wheat farmer of '82 with just 5 points! So while they had some bumper crops, much of the field was full of rocks, the machinery in need of a service and the roosters failing to crow. It ads up to lack of productivity children and that is the bane of a working man and life on the farm, a life I'd never change for all the golden potatoes in the world. 

Team Almigo wins by a staggering 274 points!

Whoooooooo! Thanks Curt! I was hoping for a win but this one romped it in!

There's still some climbing (and a bit of luck) in store though if we want to play in the finals creeping up soon!

Up next: Doomsday is coming and I'm not ready. Pray for me here.