Much Horsepower - Part 1 'What the hell am I doing here?'

What do I know of Horse Racing? About as much as I know of Japanese Tax reform. But even with that supreme lack of knowledge and form, I can still pick some horsies and a random jockey and play my part in the latest work crew Supercoach challenge*

*Like my AFL coaching antics of earlier this year it may not be a good part really but I'm ready and willing none the less. 

Yes just when I thought my coaching days were over for the year, a message popped up on Facebook chat inviting me to join up on Horse Racing Supercoach. So I opened up my old account and was instantly presented with 1.8 million mythical dolleredoos to build an illustrious horse racing stable. 

Then came the challenge of picking eight equines and a jockey within budget to represent MUCH HORSEPOWER, my new team. In the words of Jeremy Clarkson driving anything 'What could possibly go wrong here?'

THE SELECTIONS 

I don't know any history here. Or form. I couldn't pick any of these particular nags out of a police lineup. All that Supercoach is offering up here is a massive list of names and a price tag. And since I love a good horse name that's my one and only criteria for picking, a great name. However just three horses in, I suddenly realized that if I kept going I'd burn out the budget before I even had half a stable locked in play. Whoops. 

So I paused for a second and figured an interesting lineup would be some roughies, some midrange/midcard/mid tier horsies and of course the three superstar killer horses I'd already agreed to spend my virtual cash on. So in order of cheap to champion, this is how Much Horsepower looks this round:

ROUGH AS SANDPAPER

The Wizard King

Represented by: Zagor, the mad magician out of the Fighting Fantasy game books back in the day. He was the equivalent of a wizard king also a demon and ultimate fantasy bad guy.

Notes: Found towards the bottom of the list as he/she/horse is one of the cheapest horses available on offer and when I say cheap, I mean he still slugged me $50K to have him cast fireballs on course. In fact I'm hoping that's exactly what this horse will do to stand any chance of crossing the finish line somewhere up front.

Resonator 

Represented by: The car part of the same same.

Notes: Cheap and chosen purely for the fact that it's named after a car part. I mean some kind of Turbo named horse would be better but this was the best automotive pick at the bottom of the list.

Wong Wong

Represented by: A panda

Notes: Sounds like a panda, will probably move like one knowing my luck.

STUCK IN THE MIDDLE

Profiteer

Represented by: Laughing Jeff Bezos

Notes: Found at the $175,000 section of the horse market and selected on the strength of a name. Wins = profit so get on with it already horse, it's time to giddy up!

Horrifying

Represented by: Cut price Khalesi

Notes: A $175k mid range horse that ended up emptying the budget because that's all that was left in the kitty (or is it a horse float when you're buying random nags?) and I want Horrifying to win purely for shits and giggles and the entertainment of any race caller yelling it's name across the finish line.

Finally, the VELVET UPPERCUTS - THE TOP TIER NEIGH NEIGHS

Baron Samedi

Represented by: The voodoo lord of the same name! (From James Bond)

Notes: When picking a horse on the strength of a name, it's rather difficult to look past a voodoo lord. And at $400k to have this horse as part of my stable, I'm sincerely hoping that just like roughie Wizard King, this one will also delve deep into its pouch of plenty and pull out many a trick. Or curse, or various dolls and a box of pins. I'm really not picky, just rack up the points and make my big investment worthwhile! 

Behemoth

Represented by: Badass Goliath from Borderlands 2

Notes: Lithe and catlike horses? No thanks! I want my racing beasts to mow through anything and everything on their way to victory (preferably not through a railing though), ensuring my fleet of exotic sports cars grow as does my virtual horse racing e-fame. You don't expect a $500k Goliath to be subtle. Well I don't and I'm the horse lord who bought him, so.. 

Masked Crusader

Represented by: A M.A.S.K Crusader!

Notes: Last on my list today but the first in the Much Horsepower stable, I could not in all honesty go past this nod to glorious 80's cartoons I grew up with - even though it's probably more named for the mask wearing population of the world today than it is about the Thunderhawk model pictured above. 

Also default 'Captain horse' due to being first picked. This might change over time..

NOW WE'LL NEED A JOCKEY..

Lewis German

Represented by: Someone who is also German, Ralph Schumaker!

Notes: Lewis probably isn't German (TBC) but he is young and ready to prove himself, so that works for me! Also he has managed to place at 27% of his races so welcome aboard! (Until I change my mind and swap everything over for other things like I'm prone to do with these things.

So how does this work then?

Er..still figuring this out. But at best guess you get points when the nags do something and no points when they get scratched. If Lewis does something good, I get more points. Hopefully enough to beat the other crew competing in this challenge. Speaking off: 

MESSAGE FROM TYSONIC HEDGEHOGS:

Represented by...er...a horn.

'Look for symbols on the side of your horses, the signify they've got races coming up soon and that's what you want..'

Nice to know that after I play unlucky horse dip but oh well. On the Friday night of bolting this post together: 

Captain horse Masked Crusader and hilariously two of my roughies in Wizard King and Resonator are ready to race this weekend, as is the German. God only knows what the rest of my stable is doing other than costing me mythical money but hopefully they'll be booked to do something (preferably race) soon.

AND RACING!

Okay, an interesting first putting for Much Horsepower as the three that planned to turn up and race did, while the jockey who was marked too did not.

MASKED CRUSADER romped it in, coming first and scoring double points whil running with the captains crown! Phenomenal! RESONATOR struggled and landed an 8th for just 4 points while THE WIZARD KING failed to summon up anything of significance and also landed 8th. What happened to the German? No idea, he didn't get to race anything. 

The combined points of 70 have landed me 3rd out of 4 so far in the challenge but I'll be keeping the Crusader after work like that and keeping an eye out on the rest of the stable this week. If they're not racing again, they will be traded for a Gee Gee that is..

Up next: I clear the entire field, start all over again and find a horse that brings me some ridiculously good news for the weekend...