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Al builds a Formula One Car. Badly.

After really getting into Netflix's F1: Drive to Survive, I've decided to make a formula one car. Which as it does in the show, presents its fair share of problems along the way..

Here, have a spanner! - Love from the universe

I've read in a few books now that the universe loves me. Today however it seems to have had a change of heart, finding creative ways to make me late for a few things.. 

My wife woke with a migraine this morning (and no, that's not my nickname behind closed doors before anyone asks, it was a bona fide head thumping migraine.) So I volunteered to drive the kids to school (and avoid the pouring rain that rolled up last night and decided to hang about for a bit as I usually walk the 25 mins to work).

All went well until I dropped my son off and instantly noticed his usual bespectacled face now sported a stunning lack of focals. 

'Jack, where are your glasses?' I yelled, managing to catch him just microseconds from his blistering run to the front gates of the school.

'Not here.' He said, reassuringly patting his bag before realizing that no, that wasn't a good thing. There were a few seconds hesitation before he concluded that yes, he would need them and doing some quick complex calculations in my head involving the car clock, the time before the morning meeting and the distance from home: well then I better start hauling ass to go and get them then.

Not my son but I'm sure he'd love glasses like this

Now if I still had my old Rx7, I'd probably be back at my place of rented residence before you could say 'What is that droning rumble echoing about?' while wisps of burnt fuel wafted from the large exhaust while I ducked in and nabbed his specs from the dinner table. But no, this is my wife's Lancer I was driving which does the basics very well provided you're not in much of a hurry to do them.

And of course with the universe in a mood, I got hit with every red light on the way back. 
Oh and there were quite a few police cars about making sure nobody decided to turn the wet roads of Albury into a Japanese mountainside drift tournament - I'm not sure the likelihood of that actually happening but the local enforcement were making their presence very obvious to dissuade that kind of thinking.

I made it home, rushed in, jumped over the cat, grabbed the glasses, set a new record for most words said in 10 seconds while explaining what was going on to wifey in bed and then was back in the slow Lancer ready for...well more red lights pretty much with some extra traffic thrown in for good measure.  
The universe sure loves a roadblock.

'It's okay!' I reminded myself 'I'll just run in, drop the glasses off at the front desk explaining who they're for and then I'll be in the car and only a couple of minutes late for work, no problems!'
The universe heard me and giggled like an idiot. 

I got to the front office to find myself joining quite a long line of the late. Yes for whatever reason, a decent chunk of students today had rocked in late (had they too pissed off the universe somehow?) and subsequently needed a late pass before they trudged off to class.
Which the front office staff would happily produce for them...once they finished selling half their uniform collection to a students mother who decided now was a good a time as any to stock up on summer gear while it continued to pour down outside. 
Once uniform business was concluded, the late pass generation began and I was almost tempted to ask for one myself to take to work just for shits and giggles. Of course I soon learned every third student also had a device to hand in (was there a electronic device amnesty today I wasn't aware of? Did they get a free loaf of bread for surrendering their phones and iPads?) and that meant a different pass or technically a collection slip needed to be printed.  
There's was a lot going on in that front office today - had the universe been hoarding tasks from it until now?

Let me just print you a 'universe has the shits with me today pass', one sec!

I arrived 10 mins late for the morning meeting which was thankfully held at the cafe around the corner so everyone involved was too involved in their cappuccinos to worry about me missing the first parts. I too was very grateful when getting my own opportunity for a take away coffee only to have my phone buzz away halfway through enjoying it:

CAN YOU SEND YOUR PROMO BIT TO THIS STATION EARLY? THEY'VE GOT A FEW THINGS ON TODAY - OFFICE MATE

Yes the same station that never required a time before ever for the daily promo I voice and send over suddenly decided that today it needed a time. And that time was now. Coffee moment be damned, the universe drowned the place in demand dust because it's getting great amusement from my annoyance for some reason. 

Which might also explain why the side door of the chemist I visited before, the same side door that's never been closed the entire time I've been here is closed today with a sign that reads 'Use front door.' I can say with savage like certainty that this side door will be working and open for business tomorrow because undoubtedly tired of kicking me in the fun parts, the universe will have moved on from me and latched onto someone else for a daily dose of spanners thrown into anything and everything. 

He's hoping it's not you though. 

Enough already Uni, I already want to go back to bed and it's not even lunchtime..

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