After a red hot offer straight to the inbox last night, I'm considering hanging up my headphones and calling it quits on two plus decades in radio. I'm also donning the hard hat and breaking out the sledgehammer on this page and since I didn't win 50 million last week, that must mean I'm in with a chance at 100 mil tonight yeah?
Yeah?
WE LOVE YOUR WORK AND WANT YOU ON BOARD!
I'll admit, it's been a while since I got a red hot offer about joining a business and no, the multitude offers to become an instant bajillionaire courtesy of a beneficial prince in Nigeria just don't count. But last night in between writing and playing Civ IV, into the inbox came an offer of future glory. While I have changed the identity slightly to protect the innocent (you won't even notice the subtle edits I've made at all!) here is the offer all of it's copy pasted glory!
Hello,My name is BORRIS BUFFBARIAN and I'm contacting you on behalf of GET THIS GEAR IN YOUR GOB YOUR PUNY HUMAN PTY LTD. We are a supplement company based out of the United States. Our team came across your Instagram account which is how we were able to locate your contact information.
Your content looks great, and we'd love to extend the invitation for you to join our company as an official athlete. We provide our athletes with weekly pay, free supplements, promotion on our Instagram account of 150,000+, and tons more. Having reputable and top tier athletes accelerates the growth of our business.
If this is something you'd be interested in, please submit a quick application below via our website so our management can get in contact and share all details. You are not committing to anything by filling out the application, it's just necessary so our team can provide an offer for you:
https://YOUAREPRIMEATHLETEOBVIOUSLYGETONBOARDALREADY.COM
If you are hesitant about clicking the link through this email, please feel free to direct message us on Instagram to settle any doubts if you feel that it's necessary.
You can reach out to our official Instagram account @DOYOUEVENTAKEPROTEINPOWERBROTHER to see what we're all about.
Thanks for your time and we hope to hear from you soon.
Regards,
Artist impression of what Borris may look like. |
An official athlete? How'd you like them apple protein flavoured apples! Obviously they've looked over my workout photos from last year (I haven't really posted any since..) and thought 'Look at that buff stuff! Look at that ripped ripper! That man's abs probably has...more abs! We need this chiselled physique on our books AS OF YESTERDAY!'
So goodbye radio and your early starts and occasional weekend shifts. Goodbye trying to turn a coin trying to write best sellers. Borris has just revealed the path I need to be on and that is as an official athlete. Because I obviously look the part (thanks Insta!) so why not take over the athlete world while we're at it!
Don't wish me luck, with this body I've got it in the bag!
TALK THE TALK, NOW UPDATE THE PLACE
A special hello, deep bow, high five, fist bump, stiff armed lariat or however you like to be greeted to those from Reddit who have popped over for a look at how I do things here after spending a few minutes posting on R/Blogging. Make yourself at home, the drinks cabinet may be empty but at least there's plenty to read.
While reading this morning and answering a few questions about blogging in general on the way (both here and at Driveanotherday.com) I also had the chance to take a look at a couple more popular blogs and take some notes steal some ideas. Because in another admission today, I don't really read too many blogs myself. However I think bloggers should, just to get ideas, inspiration or at least a workable suggestion on how to really make your layout stand out, how to make the place look appealing, exploring avenues you hadn't really considered yet etc.
Think of it as owning your own house but after a while you feel the decor is stale. You're not ready to buy a new house, so what to do? Go and look at new houses anyway - they'll have the latest kitchens, bathrooms and pool rooms and hopefully a big kick of inspiration for you to jazz up your own place. (Plus renos should be cheaper than buying a new place)
So if you're a long term reader of this place, prefer for some slight tweaks (nothing earth shattering) as I play with layouts, learn from stolen ideas and jazz the place up. Proper jazz, not interpretive stuff with bagpipes or harpsichords. Let's see if we can turn this place from a cents generator to a dollar making paradise!
I can't see this going wrong, at all! |
WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH 100 MILLION?
So we found out another thing my radio co-host Lu and I have in common and that is that neither of us have ever bought a new car. Yes no new car smell for either of us (lost on me currently given I still can't smell anything) as every car we've had has been second hand. Or possibly third hand.
(Given the condition of my Mazda RX7 when I bought it, I believe it may have gone through quite a few hands before it came over to Australia..)
So if we won Powerball's 100 million dollar prize draw tonight, it'd be new car time. I'm thinking something with a Lexus badge on it while she's opting for a Ferrari.
I tried to win half of this life changing money last week but things didn't eventuate. However Donna my wife encouraged me to buy a ticket, so I did. Managing to line up behind a guy who bought ten tickets for the eyebrow raising price of $606.
(Geez, imagine if I won the lot and none of his tickets came up a winner? :/)
All going well, I might not have to be a professional athlete to put food on the table after all!
Wish me luck and chat soon!
-Almigo
Comments
Post a Comment