Growl - punch, kick, jump, rocket launcher!

Remember the brilliant arcade beat em up Growl?

No? Then you better learn the ways of M.A.M.E my friend because Growl (or Runark in Japan) is simply the greatest beat em up of ALL TIME!
And here's the reasons why...

Reeks of savage sex appeal.

I'VE NEVER PLAYED THIS CLASSIC FROM 1990 - PLEASE GIVE SOME WELL CRAFTED REASONS WHY YOU CLAIM THAT IT'S THE BEST EVER.

Easy!

- All of the players you can choose from urinate radioactive toughness. How tough? Regardless of who you choose, each of them faces oncoming hordes of bad guys with their shirts open. Yep, while other sissy beat em ups will have you clad in uniforms and possibly body armor, Growl tells you to face the worst with your pectorals pulsating in the midst of explosions, wild animals and shady poachers. That's more manly than the Manly Sea Eagles.

Too. Much. Choice!

 - You can choose from two bad ass looking biker dudes, a rugged cowboy who means business (and has a slight resemblance on some angles to Indiana Jones) and HOLY HELL, THAT THIRD GUY HAS THE SAME JAW LINE AS RON PERLMAN! How did we not see this before??? Pick Hellboy!!!

Look! It's the guy from Growl!

- At the start of the game your character is just kicking back minding their own business when some baddies walk in and firebomb the place. What makes this more brilliant than any movie with a cameo from Stan Lee is that hidden under the barstools are a bunch of rocket launchers. God only knows what kind of bar you need to find yourself in where patrons are allowed to  tuck their rockets under their seats...but that's where you start, in the bar of Immense Hardcore Toughness.
(There's a fair chance your character is drinking diesel too)

- It's about saving animals. Not someone's random lost daughter, not the world, but hordes of animals. The RSPCA probably play this game in their downtime. Dunno if the animals themselves appreciate it but it's nice when deers frolick in the middle of a whip fight with some crazy businesswomen:

Run Bambi, run for the train!

- Did we mention it's an equal opportunity game? Yep, the poaching community seems to have a decent amount of stylish women in it, walking around, looking glamorous... and lobbing grenades from WW2.

These heels were made for fightin!

- Stacks of weapons. We've already mentioned the rocket launchers in the roughest bar there was (and the whips) but there's also assault riffles to burst fire from, grenades to lob, crates to toss, swords to swing, knives to flick...the list goes on. 
Mind you your fists never get tired and the bad guys sure do seem to appreciate a finely honed knuckle sandwich...

- And finally....an elephant takes on a tank and doesn't end up as a piano. We kid you not. Awesome!

You go stampy!

Want to know more about this awesomeness? Well it has it's own Wikipedia Page - go there an educate yourself on arcade animal rescue.
Til next time Growl fans!

If you enjoyed this one, make sure you check out my quick play through of Undercover Cops - where no one goes undercover and they're barely cops either!