Flex Daddy is crowing. I owe the Marlon Brando's a six pack of beer. Matt from Matt's Crowe's comes up with a ridiculous wager. It's a busy Monday after buying a ticket to journey back on the losing train..
Okay to sum up the intro:
I lost to Flex Daddy and he's crowing about it.
Brando bet me a six pack of beer that Geelong would beat Richmond and wouldn't you know it? He was right and has just taken ownership of his 6 park of Carlton Dry (I gave him options of others but he said no, Carlton Dry was his choice. Fair enough then.)
Having heard about my bet, Matt suggests we have a bet this round (he's my next opponent) and whoever loses, the other gets to pick whoever they like to trade from the losers team. I gave it all of four seconds thought before I shut that idea right down.
As for the loss, well it's over (sadly) to the one and only Fartmaster Flex.
Ahem, that's Freddie Fartmonger to you, you big loser. Anyway on to the performance of team Almigo this week which can be summed up in just one word: A bad fart.
That's three words and a stunning lack of detail. Try again Fartlord.
Fartmonger! Anywhoos, Lever was rubbish with a lazy 35.
Membrey was rubbish with a lazy 43.
Over on the bench, Gulden was also rubbish with 51.
Don't get me started on Hurn though, he didn't even play which makes him...wait for it....Rubbish! There's more rubbish in this team than there is jammed under my bed currently.
Yeah brilliant analysis Fartface, keep it up.
It wasn't all doom and gloom though. In the sea of average scores, McCluggage jumped ahead again at 127 and back in the mix Sheed helped out with 119. Dusty only chugged in 65 and Aliir had a rough one with only 76.
But even with the highest point scorer in both teams, Tim's team had far better averages and won the round by an eye watering 140 points. Not even close.
I believe I warned you of this...
Shut up Modok, no one likes a bragger.
What to do here? Is there anything worth of note left on the free agent list?
TRADE OUT TUESDAY
Turns out no, the free agent list seems like a barren wasteland with very few FWD's and the ones that are still available aren't great at all. Which means both Duryea and Membrey are staying for now. At least I've swapped them over for this round because Duryea has just a bee's todge higher average.
Will this change anything? Probably not, but at least it looks like I'm doing something here.
OH WOW WEDNESDAY
Oh wow as once again I had a cheeky look at the free agent list, expecting the market to look like this:
Only to find someone lurking on the FWD side with a better average than Membrey and not buried halfway down the list. So sorry Membrey, but taking your spot on field:
LINCOLN MCCARTHY (BRISBANE)
Represented by WCW Star: Glacier
Notes: Not a super standout but with an average of 82.3 currently he's better that what we had previously. Being a Brisbane player hopefully he'll be inspired by McCluggage and Zorko running riot.
Wouldn't it be cool boss if we could dress Lincoln up like that when he plays this weekend!
It would but then everyone will want to do it so no.
Taunt Thursday
Matt's Crow's are already crowing, figuring he's going to romp it in. However at this early stage it seems Modok only has a 15 point margin between us, heading Matt's way. That's really not much of a lead in a game where anything and everything can happen..
Ring a ding dong and sing a song of saucepans, Matt's Crows has this bag well and truly cable tied up and ready to throw right into the lake of success. Paint me in honey and call me an exhaust pipe, this humble announcer sees no chance for Almigo to claw his way back on this one..
Shut up you.
GAME WEEKEND
Like an AFL Grand Final worth watching, this one was close. Stupidly close. So much back and forth action where I'd be leading, then Matt, then I'd claw back then he'd sneak ahead after the next game. Players would fire up, others would fall. So many rabbits pulled out of hats, the Calicivirus overtook Covid. In the end, it was too close to call. And so to sum up this bitter tete-a-tete, we cross back to Freddie Fartbox.
Nope, he's off sulking. Taking his place then is his great grandfather Frederick Winderemere Snr. Over to you Frederick.
Hooley dooley did things get unruly in this muck up dust up dirt flying clod hopping mud churning barn dancing hammer throwing shindig of the stars!
Oh ffs..
Disasterly Dustin is back on track with a very respectable 121 points right where it was needed, like a tray of fresh lamingtons on bingo night, like a steeped tea bag in the cup for another 60 seconds, like a-
Get on with it!
Yes, yes, curb your impatience young man! Now while Dustin was good, Zorko excelled, bagging a lover crop of 140 jiggers for the round. Special mentions and an extra ticket for this week's meat try also go to Hickey for 118, McCluggage for 128 and Greenwood for 104. Taking some time out in the disappointment corner was Jiath who summoned up only 61 points.
Maybe a quick Bex and a lie down would help here? It certainly helps with me!
Toward the end however it was all down to Sheed. He valiantly stood up to the arrogant dragon that is Matt's team and summed up enough intestinal fortitude to bring forth 71 points. Not his finest effort I think you'll agree but it set up an ultimatium - Matt's player Sloane now needed 124 jiggers to steal victory away at the last second.
We held our breath.
We held our breath some more..
Yes, yes!
And Sloan? He bagged only.......82!
That was victory for Team Migo and time for me to celebrate with one of the greatest albums of all time while the nurses here at the home begrudgingly danced around for me.
Golly, what a stunner!
Yep, seems like the arrogance train that was bragging of sweet victory on Friday is far quieter today having watched it go right down to the wire...and then straight off the nearest cliff. And while it hasn't elevated my position on the ladder currently:
It has helped solidify my chances of never coming last again and it has dropped Matt two places. Karma? Possibly :D
Up next: Who's been sleeping
in my bed on my bench? The results
drive doctors mad will surprise you!
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