Shiggsy looks at the Wagga Dogs on Friday

 

Hello sexy blog reader! Yes is me, Shiggsy Circudswell, former captain of Vladasputa Tunnel Carvers! After much success in helping team Almigo in game of foot and ball, I have scored the inviting to come back and give many thought to racing of the dogs!

This Friday we pack the action in place of Wagga and with 11 mighty racings be going ahead, I pick some winning doggies! Grab coin bags, we do this now!

Wagga Greyhounds - RACE 1

Firstly you may be of the asking, 'Shiggsy, what you know of racing dog?' Well in glorious country of Vladasputa, we have weekly meeting of fast goat. And if you can pick winner of goat, dog winner seem easy! No difference other that of the milking. 

Happy 50 of the birthdays to Geddup Rororinky, famous goat racer!

First of the racing and I like 3. MIDNIGHT NACHOS because is great snack at time of night. For outside of the chance, I be picking 5. FAST LURCH because I confuse name for fast lunch and I hungry for nachos again. Like they yell on lines for sides in Australia, 'You thing go good!'

Wagga Greyhounds - RACE 2

With 10 woofers in race at time of Shiggsy tipping, there many chance to win much Sputa coin for feast of potato here. I look at form of all dog and very impressed by dog of 10. PARTY HOST. Him have 10 runnings and 3 wins which tells me dog will either win or not, him not know how to do of the place. I also like 5. RALPH because it sound like mighty name. When test of the paternity come back as is confirmed, I will be calling plenty of my children name of Ralph.

Wagga Greyhounds - RACE 3

Seriously power punter, how you go by 3. ONE DOUBLE BEAT here? Yes him be long odds, yes him not win in while. But Shiggsy overhear many whisper at urinal about how dog is due and will be putting small bag of Sputas on the line for ODB to dance across finish.

I hear many of secret of dog here!

Other dog I like in this race? None of them. No chat of the urinals for others, no need to pick more winner.

Wagga Greyhounds - RACE 4

Many scratchings already, only 6 of the dogs in the dance of winning dog. I scrutinizer very hard and give 1. EVERY CHANCE every chance. Him get Shiggy's big bowl of dog gruel in this clash!

Artist rendition of 1. EVERY CHANCE

Wagga Greyhounds - RACE 5

Possibly bet of the card be happening race of 5? Because I not be going past the 4. WILD JULIA is be sounding like a lady of much fun! Do not be forgetting eligible ladies that I too be of the single status and after these tips buy you many sexy carrot, you form one line! 

Is you Julia? Call me!

Also 9.TOMMY TOWN worth gamble. Him speed rating good. There 9 members in team of Tunnel Carvers, coincidence? Possibles. Shall I be going on? 

Wagga Greyhounds - RACE 6

I big fan of the Bond called James as I just see new film at Vladaplex 'Live and be letting others die yes' and there and fore cannot not be picking 1. ASTOR MASTER to take the chocolate box here because James, him be driving an Astor Master in film!

Astor Master

5. DUNDEE CRYSTAL look more rough than my last date. There was hairy man under all makeup! Is there fast goat under dog skin, we be hoping!

Wagga Greyhounds - RACE 7

Single ladies who be liking their Men on the big and of the smoking (literal) siding, reminder that you can be winning date with me though blog of here! Just leave name and sexy picture below and you be winner! Easys! (Unless you man under many makeup, please not happen.)

Yes ladies, 2. TIME FOR ROCKIN' there will be. And 7. EXTREME HEAT too. Shiggsy be bringing the back of sexy, yesh!

Come and be lighting of my cig!

Wagga Greyhounds - RACE 8

I have been of the informed; 'Shiggsy, get back on it!' from management, so back to racing. You remember Deja Ratkik, famous singer of Vladasputa? No? Shame, him rendition of 'Sexy time in back of farm machine' still top 10. That why I be picking 7. WILD DEJA to be taking cup of this race to home and affixing to mantle. 

Deja Ratkik available for party and funeral.

I also like 5. NANGUS ROAD but not sure what a Nangus is. It be sounding of the sexy though. Grrr, nangus!

Wagga Greyhounds - RACE 9

Ha ha, I see 8. GOT A JIMMY is in race, which remind me of very fast goat of racing circuit be of name Got a Jiminiskimartinanous. Him winning got too, so you pick same dog! You also place couple of sputa on 7. TIKKI and you buy servant to roll you home, weighed down with the winnings!

Got a Jiminiskimartinanous

Wagga Greyhounds - RACE 10

Again, I see empty box. And no is not joke about love life (ladies call Shiggsy now!) I will not be of the inviting back if I not be selecting 4. TIGGERLONG AL because owner of blog, him be Al! Also I like 7. FIRE UP KEITH but be hoping the fire is not so hot it be burning poor doggie. You thing go good!

Hullo Al!

Wagga Greyhounds - RACE 11

Okay last race of glorious card and I am liking 10. KALUK KALUK because is same sound of Shiggy's tractor on cold start. This dog turn up 15 times and 5 of them he do something worthy! So I pick him to be of the winning and also throw in 5. LILAC IZMIR. Dog look fast, dog turn up 50 times. You be thinking he be knowing of his shit by now. Clever doggy. Put a couple of Sputa coin on both, raking in of the moneys!

How I go? Stay of the tunings! Al himself be back to share winning performance soon!

For latest odds on the Wagga Greyhounds, you can check out Tab.com.au

Friday morning update to a few races (from Al):

Race two - 10. PARTY HOST is scratched, so now Shiggsy has selected 8. CHUCKIN' PIES because apparently that sounds like a pretty good time for him.

Race three - I see PARTY HOST has ended up in this race instead. Shiggsy is still standing by ONE DOUBLE BEAT to do something however.

Race five - TOMMY TOWN scratched, Shigs is going for MILL EXPRESS because it's close to Milf and you really don't want to know his filthy thoughts on those.

Finally race eleven - KALUK KALUK didn't make it, so replace with NIPPY UNO. I didn't even ask why...

It's now the Saturday morning straight after the races, how did Mr Shig go? 

Well if you have a buck each way on all of his tips:

Race 1 - Midnight Nachos won! Fast Lurch came in 6th but that's a fantastic start to the night's tipping. $10.30

Race 2 - Substitute dog Chuckin Pies slid in for 3rd while Ralph only managed a second last. Still, that's a place get for this race. $1.50

Race 3 - Hilariously One Double Beat ran last. Had he picked Party host like he planned to in the second, he would have scored a third place in this race. -$1

Race 4 - Every Chance ran third but paid nothing for such a short field. The tip was okay, the earnings not so much -$2

Race 5 - While Wild Julia fell a bit short (5th) his sub pick of Mill Express came in second!  $1.50

Race 6 - Astor Master zoomed to first place! His other tip Dundee Crystal however forgot to fill up and landed second last. $4.40

Race 7 - A 4th and a 7th. No love here! -$4

Race 8 - Wild Deja came home, Nangus Road brought up the rear! A first and a last still brings home some sputacoin! $5.80

Race 9 - A 5th and a 7th. Can't win them all -$4 

Race 10 - Last and 2nd last. Not great... -$4

Race 11 - A 3rd place for Nippy Uno to round out the races. $2.80 How much sputacoin did we manage to jag all up though? 

Total outlay: $40

Winnings: $22.70

Result: -$17.30

Impressive results! I am being of the looking forward to tipping more of the winning dog for you soon!

Edit: A few weeks later we invited Shigs back for another crack at tipping nothing but winners at the Wagga Greyhounds. The next time he went slightly better too!