Bash for the Border - Round 18 - Who is this knocking at my door?

 

Last week like earlier this year, we had no Dusty. This week, well we still have no Dusty. But what I do have strangely is a woman outside my office wanting a little chat..

Ahh, come in?

Ahh hello yes, Mr Shield is it? Allow me to introduce myself, I am Penelope Rutherglen and I am acting on behalf of the shareholders and the board of directors for the Flavorless Flavs. 

Wait what, this rag tag bag of misfits has a board of directors now? 

It always has. While you call them a bunch of 'misfits' and have seemingly been making decisions to and I quote 'Throw the biggest bag of spanners possible into the path of anyone and everything at this stage', the board and myself have quietly been cleaning up your messes along the way.

Messes? What messes?

The Steele Sidebottom Saga certainly springs to mind..

Okay, so maybe that wasn't the best trade to make..

And let's not forgetting the ejection of Dangerfield, just two days out from his return and a great performance when he was back on the field..

No no, I stand by that decision, he had to go!

Regardless Mr Shield, I'm here to inform you that the board is incredibly disappointed in the year so far. So much so that if you fail to get a win in this round, we will be forced to take action and have you replaced as coach. If that was to occur, while you would remain on staff in an adversary role and blog writer, the board and myself will be the ones calling the shots. Are we clear on this?

Oh FFS...seriously?

By the way, out of interest, exactly who is on this board of yours?

I'm sure you will discover that information soon enough Mr Shield. Good luck with this weekend and we shall speak again shortly, no doubt.

Well, s**t.

A PLAN, HOPEFULLY ONE OF ATTACK

So with that nasty threat looming upon me, I've stacked the deck...er...field with the best available based on averages coupled with last week's performances: 

Which means Ellis gets another run while Dusty still stays out and Newcombe gets a rest. The Bont is still captain because I say so and he's the Bont.

What I'm really hoping for this week is Franklin to play one of his best games ever on account that in footy news this week, he's been offered so little in a contract extension, he might just retire. I've seen enough episodes of F1: Drive to Survive to know that when an athlete faces terms like that, they usually have a blinder out there on the track (or in this case the field) to prove they've still got what it takes (and to try an net a much better pay packet out of another team). 

Well that's what I'm hoping anyway as we find ourselves up against Zac's Silver Surfers who beat us by a mere 31 points the last time we clashed...

FRIDAY MORNING

'I reckon you might have this one. Zac's got a couple of big guns out.'

-Coach Brand Power, over coffee this morning. 

And hopefully he's right there because = board threats. Thankfully it's Brandon saying this and not Tyson from the Tysonic Hedgehogs because Ty likes to point this out publicly and the last thing I need is Zac realising his team is a touch understaffed..

SO HOW DID WE GO?

Well I'm going to tag in former ECW great Joel Gertner the quintessential stud muffin for this introduction: 

via GIPHY

Because boy oh boy did we have an absolute riot of a round in this one!

-The Bont decided to prove why he is the greatest captain the Flavorless Flav's has ever seen with a ridiculously good 181 points which since he's wearing the captains crown, doubles to 362!

-Not only was that the highest score for any player in the history of my team, the Bont went on to become the highest scoring player of the round amongst all coaches!

-Deciding the Bont's rampage just wasn't enough, The Luggage decided to give this high scoring bizzo the go and coughed up a stellar 150 points. 

-Last time Zac beat us by 31 points. This time we gave him a receipt and a well deserved thumping winning by 318 points! 

-Not only did we win, we had the highest score of all the teams this round!

Amazing, just amazing. My team had their backs to the wall and instead of wilting under pressure, they turned on the destroyation taps and flooded everyone away. They didn't just win, the rocked the entire competition and revealed that even though we sit at the bottom of the ladder (still) we can still cause merry hell when we need to. And I don't think there's been more of a need to do this until now.

What say you board of directors, still doubting my abilities here?

...

Didn't think so. See you when contract negotiations for next year come round again..

Can the Flav's continue their march to...uh somewhere? Or will team Stringer Box provide too much of a roadblock to get past?

Thoughts on this game coming up later this week!