Monday, January 14, 2019

Rent my rubbish looking house please!

The timing is absolutely spot on - a couple of weeks before my son starts at school for 2019 and my daughter kicks off a big year experiencing the wonderful world of Kindergarten and our landlord (through the real estate agent) expresses a desire to end our tenancy. Yippee..

So we've got a little month and a half to find a new place, pack up our box and dice and shift operations. Which means plenty of time trawling the local real estate listings for a place to stay...

Not this one though..

...including plenty who don't believe in the wonderful world of photography for some reason..

Wednesday, January 2, 2019

Can I buy 10 of your defibrillators please Dr Idiot?

A strange email appeared in my spam inbox recently, asking for a quote on 10 defibrillators. Because as the world knows, radio announcers just hoard defibrillators and love selling them in their spare time...

Check out this red hot defibrillator bargain!
Since they took the time to drop me a line I felt it was only fair to respond back...via one of my junk email addresses to really keep them guessing.

It turns out I've either copped a scammer who can read or a complete idiot. Let's find out which!

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Space D.I.R.T episode 3: Are you being spuded


When we last caught up with our rag tag crew, they'd just be shot into space, survived many hands of five card stud (without an actual full deck) and met a digitized pirate - who turned out to be the base Artificial Intelligence welcoming them to their new home for the next five years. Now that the front doors unlocked, what awaits our intrepid (and hopefully brave) crew inside?..


Friday, December 7, 2018

Space D.I.R.T episode 2 - Welcome Home


In the last episode we meet the poor unfortunates who have now been thrown together to form the brand new Space D.I.R.T. Their mission...unclear. (Although it's obviously going to be something pretty awful. Their future location...unknown. (Although they're travelling there as you read this.) Can this group of unknowns work well together...for the next five years without killing each other??


Space D.I.R.T Episode 1: Meet the dirt


It's amazing what you can do when you find you have time on your hands. Like this morning when I waited in my doctor's waiting room for over an hour to find out why the right side of my brain was on fire (it's okay, it doesn't seem terminal). Rather than annoy people on social media, I whipped out the phone and started writing a play.

Yes a play/script/performance/thing. 

The last one I wrote was back in...uh...1995 and unfortunately there was only ever one copy of ATTACK OF THE CHAINSAW BEAST FROM THE SWAMP SHORES OF HELL ever made and I'll be damned if I remember who has it currently. So forgive me if I'm a little rusty here but I am proud to present episode one of...



Strap yourself in, we go dirty in three, two, one..


Sunday, November 25, 2018

For the love of a dead lawnmower

Well that sad day finally came, when my ex-millionares lawnmower finally bit the dirt and not in a spinning blades chop down the surrounding jungle kind of way. I could have taken it to the local tip or maybe left it outside on the lawn for anyone to help themselves too....but foolishly I tried to make some money from it through Gumtree and that's where the fun began..

Rust in pieces



Sunday, November 18, 2018

Why I won't be buying ads on Facebook anymore.

So I've been buying Facebook advertising to plug my four books so far...and lets be honest, it's far more misses than any hits in this affair. In my latest outing with Facebook ads, I'm starting to wonder why I bothered to click on the Instagram part at all...